Leg Iron Books – an update

I don’t have a proper website for publishing yet. Coding has moved on somewhat since I last wrote a web page and the stuff I know about HTML is appallingly primitive by modern standards. I also have yet to decide on the format and layout.

In the interim, I’ll try things out on the blog. I meddled with the menu bar today and somehow managed to stop it working altogether. I think it’s fixed now. I have updated the ‘Underdog Press’ link to ‘Leg Iron Books’, updated that page and added pages for the current books under it. Hover a mouse pointer over it, or tap it on a touchscreen and you should get a drop down menu.

So far it just has the book covers. Next there will be links to places to buy the books. Eventually there will be individual author pages with sub-menu section to each author’s book(s). So, each author will have an ‘about me and my writing’ page, a photo if you want one, and a sub-menu listing the books. If you write in different genres and use a different name for each type of book, you get a page for each persona.

Hopefully, once it’s all looking right, it will transfer easily to a ‘proper’ website. Although I will need someone to do the coding, or at least help… a lot!

The Easter Anthology has four submissions so far. Maybe five, if someone who emailed me likes my suggestion. I can’t pay at the same rate as last time or I’ll go bust. So, this time, it’s £10 a story or the equivalent in books – I won’t know the final book price until it’s done but it’s going to be as cheap as possible.

If you have a very short story, say, less than 500 words, well, we’ll come to some kind of arrangement.

Easter is the theme, and it doesn’t have to be the centre of the story. Stories set at Easter time, whether they involve chocolate eggs or religion or neither, are what we need here. Past or future or present, anything from soppy romance to trouser-filling horror. Just with an Easter theme.

Good Friday is the 14th of April and it has to be out by then. So let’s put a deadline for submissions at the end of March. I can cope with one or two late ones after that but really, most of the book should be in shape by then. I’ve already started on the cover, and on the cover for Longrider’s first novel.

I now have five days to finalise Longrider’s novel if it is to be out this month – and I really have to start taking deadlines seriously. Especially since I’ve just had another book sent in!

Okay, back to work…



More book stuff

There is going to be an Easter anthology. I Have Decided. I have to move fast but I’m damn well going to do it. Last time there were delays, some due to external factors and some due to inexperience. I can now deal with the latter much more easily. The former, well, I don’t plan to move house (and all the craziness that goes with it) for some time yet. That was the biggest delay.

So, can I do it in a month? A lot depends on you guys. I need stories with an Easter theme. Any genre, any subject, gentle or supernatural or gory or romantic. Based around Easter, that’s the only rule.

Well, there are other rules. No child abuse of course, no violent rape and (new but fixed rule) no antismoking or antidrinking or any story where the control freaks win unless they are clearly the bad guys. I will not be a propaganda machine.

So far we have:

The Underdog Anthology

Cultish, by Hugo Stone (skirts the very edge of the rules and touches the limits of common decency – but very funny with it).

The Goddess of Protruding Ears, by Justin Sanebridge (a sexual, but only slightly kinky tale of romance across time).

All these are available from many other eBook outlets.

Next up is Longrider’s novel ‘Ransom’. I’ll put up the author name when he’s definitely decided what to use. Probably his own name again but it’s common decency to wait until contract time. This one has to be done this month for two reasons – to keep up my self-imposed ‘one a month’ production rate, because I have the Easter Anthology to do and because I have a backlog.

Three. Three reasons.

I have, in the backlog, a short story collection by Longrider, a Dutch translation of The Goddess of Protruding Ears, two novels by MJ (again, can’t give a name until the author has decided what to use) and a biography of the painter Han Snel. Also a few novels of my own.

The backlog has enough to keep pumping out one a month until July without my own books. This little publisher is climbing the ladder, one rung at a time.

Next month is the Easter Underdog Anthology plus one of MJ’s novels. She’s been very patient in the queue. I know, because I’m an author too, everyone wants their own book dealt with first. It’s natural. After spending all that time writing it you want it in print right now. So do I.

But I’m a one man operation. A bloody-minded and determined one man operation but just one all the same.

The way this thing is going, that might change, and sooner than I expected.

But then I’d have to move somewhere with a government that doesn’t do its damndest to slap down anyone who tries to build a business.

Pity. I quite like Scotland otherwise.

Leg Iron Books – still alive.

logobasicI’m growing fond of the crow. I think I’ll name him Bob.

I have not abandoned this project. Lots of weird real life stuff has happened but Longrider’s novel is next up and will be a February release if it kills me. Well obviously not if it really kills me, but even if it damages me to the point where I actually say ‘no’ to a whisky, I’ll still get it done.

It’s a good story in good shape so it won’t take long.

I also have to send some copies of The Goddess of Protruding Ears to Justin Sanebridge. He lives a long way off, still on this planet but only just. I have to get to a main post office for this one. That’ll be later this week.

Next month I’m going for two books published. I really want an Easter Underdog anthology so if you have ideas, write them now. I’m afraid the pay won’t be as generous this time, since looking at the accounts means if I keep paying at that short story rate I’ll be bankrupt in no time.

Novels and single author books of stories are different. Those are paid on royalties – if they sell, even one copy, the author gets something. Not much, I need to keep the final price low because we are talking an unknown publisher of unknown authors here. It’s going to take time to build up but I guarantee every book sale gets something for the author.

Anthology stories I pay for once, up front. I then take the risk that I’ll sell enough copies to at least break even. Hasn’t happened so far but one day, maybe…

There is a backlog. A short story collection, a biography, two novels, and then there’s my own stuff to do too. If I put out at least one a month I’ll be in business until the summer on what’s already submitted.

I don’t want to make too much this first year. The taxman’s ridiculous ‘tax on account’ game where you pay this year’s tax double so you’ve paid next year’s too is what kills small businesses. Too successful too early, the taxman will wipe you out.

It was the Brown Gorgon’s brainchild but the Tories have done the square root of bugger all to change it. I can only assume the Tories don’t want small businesses to succeed either.

So, you have to be cunning to survive as a small business in the UK. Make no profit – or even a loss – in the first year and build up slowly. Do not be an overnight success because the taxman will kill your business by the next morning.

Last time I started a business (rogue scientist) I survived because I had a big redundancy payoff as backup so I could take the hit of double tax at the end of my first year. If you get past that it gets easier since you’ve already paid a chunk of the following year’s tax. You’re really mostly paying the year-after-that’s tax. Getting past that first year as a penniless startup is impossible. Unless, of course, you make little to no profit in the first year.

The second year, you can make a little profit. Not too much because the same business-killing rules still apply. A little more the third year, a little more the fourth…

If you want your business to survive the startup-hating Government we have in all colours now, you have to sneak up on them slowly.

Leg Iron Books is rising, but it won’t be an overnight success. It’s not popping over the parapet to be an easy target for the tax-hungry government.

It’s sneaking up on the big boys.

Books update

Leg Iron Books has three out so far –

The Underdog Anthology (there will be more of these).

Cultish, by Hugo Stone (a weighty tome of filth and depravity).

The Goddess of Protruding Ears, by Justin Sanebridge (a clever time twisting tale).

There are three more novels and a single-author short story collection on the way. Also, there will be another Underdog Anthology, probably around Easter. For the cover I need a broken Easter egg and a large spider, which shouldn’t be hard to arrange.

Also I have to finish some of my own stories. The next Romulus story has been ‘nearly ready’ for years, as has a science fiction tale called ‘Inside outside’ and then there is Panoptica and Victor’s Will and Channeling and several more Romulus tales… Well it all got a bit strange for a while but life is settling now.

Finally finished my tax return, 11 days before the deadline where they fine me for telling them I’m skint. You know, you don’t realise how much pressure that puts on you until it lifts. I’m still in no-deadline land and it’s not a good place to be. I don’t know what to do next! I have completed Doom again, I have ironed, cleaned, cut wood into very small bits with a large axe (always a fun way to pass the time) and am wondering about building a decent target for my bow and throwing knives.

I’ll set deadlines for the books. That will keep me occupied. The ones I have to deal with need only trivial editing so should be on the catalogue soon.

So the list is building. The business has begun.

Let’s hope the taxman doesn’t manage to kill it.


The Goddess of Protruding Ears is now on Amazon in print, and soon in eBook.

Once that’s complete I have two more novels, plus a short story collection from Longrider, with another novel on the way.

Everything got slowed down today because Windows chose today to apply an update to the very same laptop that I moved the publishing work onto. One of those that shoots up to 80% complete in a matter of minutes, then increments by around 1% per hour thereafter. It’s a day when I really wish I had clicked on ‘remind me later’.

I’ve also written a project proposal for some microbiology work for a company who are pretty vague on what they want done. If I get it, it’ll mean six weeks intensive work but with a good payoff at the end of it. So it was worth it.

Then I have to try getting the deposit back on the flat I left at the end of October. The buggers sent me an electricity bill for £2.16 for the four days between me leaving and the next resident arriving. Now, I could get all stroppy and argue that I’m not liable for the electricity used by their cleaners’ hoover but sod it, it’s two quid. Won’t even buy a beer these days. The most useful aspect is that they can’t now claim they didn’t have a forwarding address for the deposit. So far they have managed to dodge speaking to me which is really only making it worse. I’m now thinking about reasonable interest rates to charge on an overdue account. It’ll be more than that electricity bill…

I haven’t seen much of the news as a result, although I have wondered about the Leftie argument that Trump is in with the Russians. Aren’t the Lefties the socialists, and Trump is supposed to be some far right wild-eyed hater of everyone? Which one is the natural soulmate of Soviet Russia? Aren’t the lefties trying to make the West into a Soviet enclave too? If Trump is best buddies with Putin then shouldn’t the conservatives/republicans be the ones shouting about him?

It all seems a bit playgroundish. Putin once again comes out looking like the only adult in the game. Aside from any other considerations, that alone should give our leaders pause for thought. Putin is the one showing level headed responses while all we see from our leaders are hysterical knee-jerk reactions with little to no thought behind them at all.

Compare our swivel-eyed loons and their determination to blame everything on Russia with Putin’s general response…

disappointedHe’s no threat to the West. He doesn’t need to do a damn thing to destroy the West. We’re doing that ourselves. All he has to do is wait.

And he knows it.

Leg Iron Books – forthcoming attractions

I need to set up a Leg Iron Books site but it’ll have to wait. I might just do it on WordPress but with a ‘proper’ WordPress site, not just the blog one. From there I can sell eBooks direct with nobody taking a cut, even if I can only do them as PDF files. That way both me and the author get a better return.

I had to go with ‘split profits’ on author royalties because the damn price varies so much. All the different VAT rates on eBooks mean they are a different price in every country. There will be no creative accounting – if I make money, the author makes money. I’m no accountant, the accounts will be dead simple.

I won’t deduct tax or anything else from author payments. Declaring income is your business, not mine.

Okay, the next book coming up is ‘The Goddess of Protruding Ears’. The print version is now awaiting approval on CreateSpace which will put it on Amazon, hopefully by the end of the week. The eBook will be coming out shortly after (or before, if CreateSpace find things I have to fix)

Here’s a taster…

Who is Ayu, and why does she insist Johan’s home lies on an island he’s
never visited?

A criminal lawyer who mixes with and defends the darker residents of
Antwerp’s red light district, Johan becomes entangled with a woman whose
fetish for ear-based role play sex leads him into a world where the laws he
knows and understands no longer apply.

Ayu leads him into a new world of pleasure, linked to a past he didn’t know
he was so connected with. The people he met, the lives he crossed, were no
mere coincidences.

Eventually, Ayu’s true nature is revealed, as is Johan’s destiny.

The past, in time, catches up.

It’s not anywhere near as ferociously filthy as Hugo Stone’s ‘Cultish’ but it’s not for children. It’s a good read, complex but not difficult to follow even as it changes between time streams. it’s also not as weighty a tome as Hugo produced. His looks expensive in print but there’s about half a tree in each book! The Goddess won’t be quite so pricey, it’s a shorter book.

Following this I have a short story collection, two novels and a third on the way. Also a biography of an artist and a Dutch translation of ‘Goddess’ which is going to need a separate contract.  My contract only covers English books.

Then I have to start getting ready for the next Underdog Anthology. Oh yes, there’s going to be another. Plus, I have my own books to finish.

Meanwhile, I have to cost a microbiology project for a company who want some stuff tested. No hurry, they don’t want it until Friday…

I really didn’t have time for Christmas. I should have been working.

Nose mucus and overseas books

CStM and I are the slime twins today and we both feel like crap. Nothing at all has been achieved today. Concentration is impossible, our heads are filled with wet sand and we are going through a small forest worth of tissue paper.

Fortunately nothing is open today anyway so we didn’t have to go anywhere. Our combined mucus production has kept visitors at bay too so it’s been partly restful, partly worried that we might both morph into Jabba the Snot.

Anyway, I have less than 48 hours before I have to drive an unfamiliar vehicle along roads I don’t know to get it here so we can go home.

It’s not too bad, I have some practice doing this with hire cars but this one is actually mine so it matters if I break it.

Still, recovery before collection is imperative. It’ll be even harder to drive if I blast a nose jellyfish onto the windscreen!

So, in lieu of anything sensible, here’s what happened when RooBeeDoo sent a copy of The Underdog Anthology to her friends in America…