Politically correct suicides

Well, the woeful tales of the Sugaria-compliant soft drinks industry is well known by now. Ribena, Lucozade, Irn Bru… they all had sugar free versions on sale anyway so there was no need to meddle with the originals.

They caved in to the Sugaria Police and are pretending customer complaints and lost sales aren’t happening.

It was heartening to see in Lidl today that their own brand energy drink had almost sold out but the sugar free version still had a full shelf. Anyone buying a sugar free or zero-calorie energy drink needs a forceful lesson in the basic concept of energy as applied to foodstuffs and biology.

So do the idiots making it.

Give in to single issue pompous arses, apply rules your customers don’t want and you will wreck your business. Didn’t the pub trade give enough of a clue there?

Coca-Cola and Pepsi told the Sugaria Police to fuck off. There are two untampered drinks on the market at least. They also make sugar free versions for those who want them.

Of course, it is possible to wreck your business without outside interference by applying political correctness all on your own. You still get to blame the customers you excluded for your lack of business success, naturally…

Oh there are others. Many others.

Now Big Publishing, in the shape of Penguin Random House, is getting in on the act. This article caused such uproar among So-called Justice Wankers that the Spectator took it out of the paywall to let the world see it in context.

Basically, this major publisher is dumbing down its staff and actively looking for authors who fit Diversity Criteria over authors who can actually write. It won’t matter because reading ability is no longer a criterion for staff selection.

However, as with those Ribena and Lucozade customers, the evil white men who aren’t allowed in feminist bookshops and those smokers who once regarded a pub as their second home, Penguin Random House will find their paying customers actually want to read good books. They don’t want to buy a book just because the author is a transexual Bedouin single mother with one leg and a speech impediment.

If she can write a good book, no problem. The point is, book buyers are by and large not the coffee-table virtue-signallers if Islington and will not buy a book just because of the author. They buy a book because of the words inside it and don’t care that much who wrote them.

This is not to say that only straight white perfectly fit folk can write. Stephen Hawking has written some very interesting books while being as disabled as it’s possible to get without being dead. Anyone can write. Religion, ethnicity, skin colour, waist size, number of functioning limbs, height, shoe size, colour and quantity of eyes, nobody who reads books gives a damn. Is it a good story, well told? That is all a reader is looking for. They do not care who wrote it beyond (hopefully) looking for more books by the same author.

So, look out for some Diversity Suicide from Penguin Random House soon. Identity Publishing is a thing now. Doesn’t matter if the book is any good as long as you tick a box they haven’t ticked yet. If you’re a straight black guy with a family, get in quick.They’ll fill that quota quickly. If you’re a one-armed Eskimo lesbian with Tourettes and a criminal record, take your fucking time. That one is pretty niche. The big publishers will fight over your 20,000 word treatise about types of snow as they relate to igloo architecture. You’ll be able to buy your own iceberg within a week.

If you are white, well, you’re bottom of the list. Since Penguin Random House operate in predominately white countries they will fill the white, especially straight white, quota in minutes. Once it’s filled, even Stephen King won’t get in.

Some will consider this a disaster but I don’t think it matters at all. If Penguin Random House start selling crap books, nobody will buy them. There are many small publishers trying to get a start at the big time. If the big boys want to commit their self-righteous suicides, let them. Why cry when businesses deserve to die? Replacements are waiting in the wings. That’s how it has always worked and always will. Nothing is forever. Ask the Roman Empire, KwikSave or Woolworth’s.

There will be no author or staff quotas of any kind at Leg Iron Books, ever. It is all about the writing here. If you have been typing for ten years using only one functional finger and it’s a good book, we’ll edit it and fix it and publish it. I do not care about any of that identity-politics bollocks. I do not care if you are white or black or green. I do not care if you are male or female or if you identify as one of the new Fahrenheit scale of genders. I don’t even care if you think you are a badger. If your book is good I’ll publish it.

Leg Iron Books will never be a big publishing house because it was never meant to be. It was set up as, and will remain as, a place for good authors who can’t get the attention of the big boys to get a foot in the door. I don’t want to be rich enough to pay high rate tax. I won’t work for half pay and I don’t need that much money. I need enough to  feed me, CStM and my train habit. She has income for her own habits 😉

If any SJWs have managed to get this far without passing out, this should finish them.

The staff of Leg Iron Books is entirely white and straight. It is, at least, 50% female so we can tick that one.

Penguin Random House has about 2000 employees. Leg Iron Books has two. Me and Roo B. Doo. I earn pennies, Roo works for extra copies of the anthologies and rare bonuses. For the moment. The determined self-destruction of the big names is good news for this tiny startup publisher, and for all the others too.

There are no plans to extend the staffing although I have been in touch with a very good artist who might do some freelance cover art if I can afford his work. No prices discussed yet but oh boy, he’s good. He’s also largely unknown so getting a credit on a book will help him as much as it helps both Leg Iron Books and the authors.

And he’ll get paid too.

Let the virtue signalling suicides roll. We little businesses, so far pressed down by the big boys, are loving it.

We’d never have had a chance if the big ones were intelligent.

 

 

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you’ll be fine (Lee Bidgood)

Print version

Amazon Kindle

Most other eBook formats

…and the eBook will soon be appearing at all these places too:

Barnes & Noble
Kobo
Apple
Inktera (formerly Page Foundry)
Baker & Taylor/Follett
Library Direct
Baker-Taylor Axis360
OverDrive
Scribd
cloudLibrary
Gardners Extended Retail
Gardners Library
Tolino
Odilo

Here’s the back cover text in case it’s not visible on the graphic…

It was supposed to be a quiet night out.

Within a few hours, Matt had seen his girlfriend’s naked body on the internet, committed adultery with a psychopath and been attacked with an electric shaver to save him from an overdose he did not take.

And now he’s being hunted down by a psychiatric nurse with delusions of saving the world from itself.

It was turning out to be some weekend.

And it was only just beginning.

This one genuinely has some laugh out loud moments. I especially enjoyed a street interaction with a chugger and the conversation in a police cell. I can’t say more than that without giving away spoilers, but when the Amazon listing shows the ‘click to look inside’ option you’ll be able to get a free taster.

Fingers crossed that Amazon don’t link this to someone else’s book like they did with Mark Ellott’s ‘Rebellion’. That listing still isn’t right, even now, but at least it now shows the correct book cover. I’ll continue the nagging.

It seems that every time I load up a book I learn something new. This time I learned how to make a one piece wraparound cover. Previously I’d load the front and back covers and for the spine, I was limited to a few available fonts and colours. Spine font colour could not be varied between author name and book title and the background was a choice from a limited solid-colour range. This time the damn program messed around so much I was forced to try alternatives – and that’s how I found out how to do the wraparound cover.

Well, now the front image can extend around the spine to the back and the spine text can have every letter in a different font and colour or even be handwritten and scanned into the image if you like. This is something I am definitely going to play around with for the Halloween anthology. Might be best to let me practice on that before requesting such a cover for your own novel though. The first one might turn out to be a total OTT mess.

Well, there are no more novels in the queue so I have time to finish one of mine. I’m open to submissions but please hold off for a couple of weeks. I need a break, the garden needs a blitz, I have a load of G scale railway stuff I’m itching to try out and I promised not to do anything with it until I’d finished with these books. Well, it’s time.

And, of course, CStM has been feeling neglected these past weeks. Time for a little bit of attention and perhaps some pampering.

I might let her drive one of the trains.

Next Leg Iron Book

Lee Bidgood’s novel nears release at last. I really wanted to make the cover a Tom Sharpe-style one but my artistic skills are limited and I had not realised that art acrylics are not like model acrylics. They dry hard in days rather than minutes and will blend over borders much too easily. I’m going to have to practice this a lot more – and recognise that it will take some time to produce an image.

Instead, we will use an image produced by the author himself. Covers are ready, interior is ready, it will get loaded as soon as the author contract is signed and in time for summer reading.

It’s a fun summer read. Placed before the pub smoking ban and a wonderful catalogue of disasters over a single weekend. An excellent addition to an already impressive catalogue. I never expected, when I first set up Leg Iron Books, to find so many talented authors struggling to get into print. Hopefully the big boys will eventually notice and some of these authors will move on to bigger things.

That’s the whole point of this venture, you know. I’ll publish your books, you and I make a little money but the real aim is to get those authors into the big publishers’ eyes. Pure altruism? Hell no. If one author gets noticed, so does Leg Iron Books and all the others. Including me.

Maybe I’ll be rich one day. I doubt it and don’t really care. I wouldn’t know what to do with it all, I’d just end up buying dangerous things that might kill me. Enough money and I’d build a planet smasher and you just know I’d have to run that test. I would not be a safe billionaire.

This novel is the last current submission in the list. Someone money-oriented would be panicking. I’m looking forward to a bit of a rest. I need time to figure out marketing for the books already on the list and work on some of my own. Also, I need to spend some time with CStM who, although we live in the same (admittedly Tardis-like) house, has seen little of me for a while now.

So, by the end of this week (Amazon screwups permitting) Lee Bidgood’s book will be published and I’ll be back to playing for a while. I have a stack of G scale track and trains I have sworn not to do anything with until all the current publishing is done.

If you have a novel or short story collection you are itching to get published, I’m interested but I won’t do anything more until July. I’m the boss and only employee here (with RooBeeDoo as unpaid intern). She has a day job and I am overworking, as usual. So go through that story one more time and send it in July. Send it sooner if you wish but really, why rush when you don’t have to?

The next fixed point is September when I will start looking for stories for a Halloween anthology. Underdog Anthology 6. I never imagined it could go that far but it seems unstoppable now. In the meantime, everything is open.

But the rest of June, after this book, is mine.

UPDATE Loading it up now. ‘You’ll be Fine’ by Lee Bidgood should stoon start appearing on bookseller sites. Look for this –

Gammon, Amazon and a favour

It seems I am now a ‘gammon’, a middle aged straight white man who voted ‘leave’. At least I think that’s the definition.

It’s a sort of insult, you see. Not a particularly good one, there are far, far worse things I could be called and over the years I have indeed been called most of them. ‘Gammon’ does not leave me feeling insulted. It leaves me feeling perplexed.

I mean, If you’re going for meat-based insults surely ‘tripe’ is a better option? Pale, rubbery and bland. Or perhaps ‘chitterlings’. The intestinal offal that really, nobody wants to eat unless they absolutely have to. The latter has the added advantage that most of today’s youth have no idea what ‘chitterlings’ are, so you could greet them with ‘How are you, my little chitterlings?’ for days before one of them gets curious enough to look it up.

But.. gammon? I’m being compared to posh ham? Why not go the whole way and call me sirloin or T-bone? Those would be just as perplexing if used as insults. These SJWs have relied on the old ‘racist-Nazi-bigot’ mantra for a very long time, and this new ‘insult’ goes a long way to explaining why.

They clearly have no imagination. The little light that goes on above their heads when they have an idea must be like illuminating a cathedral with a five watt filament bulb.

Call me ‘gammon’ to my face and I will not be in the least bit insulted. I’m not going to call you racist or ageist or pork-product-ist. I am going to laugh and compare you to a recently defaecated tapeworm segment, in terms of both appearance and intelligence. I might respond by comparing you, unfavourably, to a suppurating pustule or to the back-end consequence of feeding an elephant a massive amount of Vindaloo.

Or I might just call you ‘lamb chop’, just so you can be as baffled as I am.

There is much hoo-ha on Twitter about this. One commenter even refers to it as the ‘G-word’. Yes, it’s already verboten! Brilliant! We can now go into Tesco and ask if they have any of the G-word ham. When they finally ‘get it’ and say ‘Oh, you mean gammon?’ we can then launch into faux-outrage and call the police. We can also take a permanent marker and black out ‘ammon’ on every packet. Oh, the fun to have…

Anyway… Amazon.

They have screwed up again. The print version of ‘Rebellion’ has been incorrectly linked to another novel by the same name, which is entirely dissimilar in every way to Mark Ellott’s book. Only the title is the same. Oh and the author’s first name. The Kindle version is unaffected. ‘Click to look inside’ the Kindle version and you get the right book. On the print version, it links to the other author’s content. They seem to be sending out the right print version though.

There are two reviews which are for the other book. At least they are 5 star reviews, might as well grab that silver lining while it’s there. I have informed Amazon of the blunder, of course nothing has happened so I will inform them again from another account.

This brings us to the favour. If you have time and the inclination, could you click the ‘report incorrect product information’ link on that page and tell them the ‘look inside’ links to the wrong book? Maybe if they get a few more reports they’ll actually take notice.

This is incredibly irritating. I swore not to play with the new G scale trains until this book and Lee Bidgood’s were done and there is a pile of track, two locomotives, three coaches (they are seriously big!) and five freight wagons waiting for me. I’m trying to finish the cover for Lee’s book and ‘Rebellion’ should have been clear by now. Still, it can’t be too easy, eh?

The cover is coming along. So many scenes from the book I wanted to depict but the orange Lada, the scene on the Fred Flintstone slide in the playground and the transsexual policeman really had to be in there. It’s testing my drawing skills to the limit but I think it’s going to be worth it in the end.

If you get the right book on ‘click to look inside’, it means they finally fixed it.

I hope so. It’s too good a story to get this kind of treatment.

 

 

Rebellion

Don’t get your hopes up. It’s not that time yet.

This is another new Leg Iron Book, from Mark Ellott. It’s his best yet, I think, although I’m a little bit biased because it’s a story based at the time of the Jacobite Rebellion in Scotland (the 1745 one, not the earlier ones).Available now for Kindle, in paperback and on Smashwords. Hopefully it will soon distribute from Smashwords to a wide range of online retailers.

A quick summary (also provided by the author) –

It is May 1745 and the British army is licking its wounds following defeat at the hands of the French at Fontenay. Meanwhile, there is a stirring in the north as the restless clans are gathering to the standard of the House of Stuart where Prince Charles Edward Stuart, the Young Pretender, is forming an army ready to invade England and reclaim the thrones of England and Scotland for his father, James III.

Captain Ewan McLeod of the Royal Scots waits by the roadside in Northern France for a carriage. A carriage that carries the man who will send him on his next mission. Perhaps the most dangerous mission he has undertaken, for he is to be sent home to the highlands of his youth and to his estranged family in the service of the crown.

As the Jacobites march south, so too do Ewan McLeod and his comrade Fiona Ross as the Hanoverian government struggles to respond to the threat they had underestimated. And who is betraying Ewan and Fiona? Not only must they keep their spymasters informed of developments, they also seek to discover the identity of the traitor in their midst before one or both of them dies.
______________________________________________________________________

This one should have been easy. Mark had the book edited to the point where a quick proofread was all I had to do. He provided front and back covers ready to go. All I had to do was a quick check through, format, and load it up.

Word managed to put a section into a different font size. That’s happened before. I still don’t know how it happens but at least I know how to fix it. Kindle rejected the .jpg cover but accepted the .pdf even though they only accept .jpg or tif. I thought I must have loaded the wrong cover first time, but I hadn’t. I loaded the wrong one, in the wrong format, second time, when it shouldn’t have been possible. That’s been corrected now.

CreateSpace checks for spelling errors. The book contains a lot of Scots dialect (there is a glossary) so you can imagine what happened there. I had to check every ‘spelling error’ in case there was a real one. There wasn’t.

Smashwords converts into a wide range of eBook formats so I wasn’t looking forward to that one after the antics of the first two. A bit of wrong formatting and the whole lot could go down. Miraculously it worked first time. I’m waiting to see if it meets with their approval for wider distribution. Since it passed all the initial checks it probably will.

Okay. All I have to do now is complete the cover for Lee’s book and I can take some time off. There is a G scale railway in boxes here, giving me a serious incentive.

 

Six in Five in Four

The fifth Underdog Anthology is now available on Amazon in print and Kindle formats, and in all the eBook formats you could want on Smashwords.

The two listings on Amazon will eventually merge into one – I hope. It normally works although it hasn’t worked for Samuel’s Girl. That still has separate listings for print and Kindle. A glitch I have to get around to fixing.

There is also a glitch with getting Smashwords premium distribution on this anthology. That’s good to get because it means they distribute it to a whole range of eBook sellers. I will address the glitch after I’ve finished with the next two novels. These anthologies don’t make much money anyway, the novels are more important at the moment. The anthologies are showcases for Leg Iron Books and the authors who publish here. This one has a very wide range of stories, which is going to be the norm for the Beltane issue every year.

I should get the author copies soon and I’ll distribute them to those who chose to be paid in books – hopefully at the end of this week.

I’m also going all out on the two novels in process this week because I’ve just picked up a G scale train set on eBay and I’m keen to get into the garden to set it up. The engine is radio controlled and has sound – very loud sound, which I can fortunately mute when necessary.

Can’t play with it properly until work is over. That’s a really good incentive to get the stuff done!

Next anthology, number 6, will be Halloween themed and I’ll start hunting for stories at the beginning of September. In the meantime, I’m still accepting novels/short story collections/nonfiction and anything that can become a good book.

However, the beginning of May is (I hope!) train playing time.

Also, probably, merciless gardening.

 

Fragmentation

It has been a strange week. I have three books in process, the anthology (waiting for one author’s response on whether the story needs any changes then it’s good to go), Lee Bidgood’s long-awaited novel, another from Mark Ellott that has already been so thoroughly vetted it won’t take long to do. I want to get them all done before April 30th.

So, obviously, now is the time to get calls and visits about a blue cheese mould project and another call asking for help with a student project on lactobacilli. Sigh. I’m determined to get those three books done though. I can sleep in May.

Stranger still is the overnight switch in the weather from winter to summer. This called for a bit of gardening today before it gets completely out of control. My son questioned my buying of a machete since I don’t live in a jungle. My response was ‘ignore that lot for a week and a jungle you shall have’.

The grass, which had been cut twice by this time last year, had lain dormant until today when it shot into life. The petrol for the mower ran out, it’s too long for the push mower and not long enough for the scythe. Besides, the grass is still plagued with fallen pine cones and branches and only the petrol mower can cope with those.

So instead I delved into one of the flower bed/shrubberies I hadn’t dealt with last year beyond scything down its nettle infestation. I trimmed the bushes and started the long job of digging out nettles by the roots. It’s the only way, and even that can take a few years to finally get rid of the bastards.

In there, I found a topiary piglet. Well, having found a deer skull in the holly tree last year I was, shall we say, not too surprised. The bush is hugely overgrown and probably not recoverable but the frame is intact. I can remake this piglet. Probably in a less inaccessible and more visible part of the garden. There are other areas I have not yet touched beyond hacking them into some semblance of order so there may yet be more surprises lurking.

And, at last, I have planted my favourite tulip, ‘Queen of Night’. Hoping for a good display this year. The bulbs overwintered in the kitchen and are sprouting. Yes, the kitchen gets cold enough to do that.

The IQOS microfag smoky thing is still getting used. I haven’t switched entirely but it has outlasted any Electrofag I’ve ever tried. I know, some born-again nonsmoker vapers at the radical end of the spectrum think this thing is evil. I know, some say it’s giving money to the sell-outs at Philip Morris. I don’t care at all about either of those stances. It’s cutting down the number of real fags I smoke and that is good for my wallet, and probably my health. Although I am still not convinced that smoking is anywhere near as deadly as it’s made out to be.

Using it while typing this, I have noticed that setting it down while typing a sentence (10 seconds or so) and then taking a puff, it gives a much more satisfying plume of almost-smoke. If they could make the device and especially the microfags cheaper they’d be on a serious winner here. As it is, the cost differential is minimal. If it was a big difference I’d be far more tempted to switch altogether but… meh.

They do send emails about surveys and those do build up some reserve cash. That’s good. It needs to be cleaned regularly or it starts to taste like smoking dried horseshit, so I plan to use the accrued survey cash to stock up on the cleaning sticks. They work far better than the funny brush thing that also comes with it.

Anyway, I suppose I should get to the actual blog post.

The Labour party has been hit with antisemitism, while the Conservatives have just tried to deport a lot of British citizens, many of whom have been British longer than I have. The Lords of Lib Dem Land and those Lords who have sworn an oath of fealty to a foreign power yet still have a place in the UK government have voted to ignore the electorate and keep the UK in a customs union with the EU even though the majority don’t want that. If you are looking for the Party of Morons in UK politics, well, it’s all of them.

The abolition of the House of Lords must surely be imminent. Or just convert it into a home for mad old duffers. It pretty much is that anyway. These oafs, when they can manage to stay awake at work, have now set the UK with the option to either become a vassal state of the EU or to leave with no deal at all. There are no other options.

This is what a fictional starship captain and his Dark Emperor, the Thin White Adonis, can’t grasp. We are leaving the EU. Blocking the final deal does not keep us in the EU. It just means we leave with no deal. I’m fine with that.

Tessie Maybe, the idiot supreme of our current government, has tried everything possible to distract from the total fuck-up she is making of negotiations with the EU. She has tried to start wars with anyone she can find and now she is concentrating on banning earbuds, plastic straws and coffee stirrers. All of which go into recycling bins, not rivers. I live next to a river and have never once felt the urge to drop anything plastic into it unless it’s a lure on a fishing line. We have been provided with bins for plastic and some nice, sweaty, grubby, sweary chaps come around every two weeks to empty it.

Then it all gets shipped to China or Africa in containers on huge ships that burn thousands of tons of diesel and and when it gets there they dump it in rivers. That is recycling.

Didn’t cotton buds used to be on wooden sticks? Can’t we go back to that? I could chuck them in the fire and get a few extra microjoules of heating here. Can’t do that with the plastic ones, they give off nasty stuff when they burn.

As for straws, we used to have paper ones that were fine for one use. Plastic was never necessary unless you wanted to use it over and over.

And I never liked coffee stirrers. We used to just have spoons.

Why then would I object to this ban? Because it’s a ban and this knee jerk reaction of ‘ban it’ has been pissing me off for a long time. Why not, instead, explore alternatives? Nothing is ever offered. It’s always carrot-and-stick without the carrot.

The farmer here has cut down a lot of trees. There is a massive amount of beech, birch, oak and pine in dead piles. My son has claimed some for his woodworking, I have claimed some for a garden arch and most of the rest will just end up getting burned. There is enough on this one farm to keep a cotton bud company supplied with little dowels for months at least. Why not incentivise that use rather than moan about plastic? Heck, they could come and take this wood for free. The farmer doesn’t want it, it’s just in the way.

Why not incentivise paper straws over plastic ones for single use occasions? Paper and wood can be burned or left to rot and the CO2 they put out is the same CO2 those plants absorbed so net effect = zero. Especially as the crops on the farm will reabsorb most of it, if not all.

As for coffee stirrers, use a fucking spoon like an actual adult. Then wash it and you can use it again.

But no, we have to have a ban. Another damn ban. Another bit of evidence that our government are a bunch of wasters who we pay to do nothing sensible.

And then we have the opposition. Labour. Or, more accurately, the Corbyn Cult of Nazism. Oh yes, you read that right. When I was in school in the 1970s they actually taught real history, not some fantasy past where left was right and all racists were honoured with statues. The real deal. You won’t get that now. Now we have a Government funded organisation called Historic England who will not hire white British employees and who want to tear down historic statues. Common Purpose to the core, and way beyond the absurdity horizon.

Nazis shut down debate with violence and abuse. They ignore dissenting views. They want to control what you say and, ultimately, what you think while they never think at all but act in blind obedience and awe of their chosen cult hero. Remind you of anyone, Jeremy?

Jezza walked out of the parliamentary debate on antisemitism even while his own MPs described the death and rape threats his supporters had sent them. Well, he doesn’t need to hear the results of his instructions, does he?

Then we have the thugs of Antifa and make no mistake, thugs is all they are. They are just looking for a reason to be arses and no matter how tenuous the reason, arses they will be. They are the new football hooligans, their team is whichever they want to fight with today. They fight against homophobia but then recently broke up a gay pride march because it offends Muslims. Really, they have no focus at all. It’s just a fight to them, the reasons are no more than an excuse and they can change by the hour. At least football hooligans stuck to one team.

There is a huge amount of coverage given to the new ‘trans’ movement which consists of about five people, four of whom are better described as drag queens than genuine trans. Chicks with dicks want to have access to little girls in changing rooms and toilets all over the country. A genuine trans woman has told me she wouldn’t like to share a train carriage with some of the loonies she has met, never mind a changing room. But the genuine ones are not part of this movement. This is men in tights looking for an easy target. It’s going to turn out nasty.

Should girls give up their right to privacy so that middle aged men in skirts can ogle them in the swimming pool changing rooms? A bikini with a flat-top and a stiffie below with a couple of pink Kiwi fruit hanging out the sides is not an appealing sight. It’s even more of a mind wreck than fishnet tights with tufts of hair coming out of every hole. I hear little to nothing about women who identify as men causing problems in male changing rooms and toilets. That’s probably because most of us men won’t mind at all if a woman wants to get naked nearby. The threat level is not even comparable, is it?

There has been far less outrage than expected over the paedo grooming gangs who have been left to their own evil devices for a very long time. I didn’t say Muslim gangs for a reason. Those are just the scapegoats. Oh they are guilty as hell but it goes far deeper and if the police were allowed to actually investigate in a proper police way, some very big names will be mentioned. That’s why they aren’t. It’s not really Muslim gangs they were protecting, that’s just the tip of the iceberg. They are being sacrificed now as a distraction to keep us happy that ‘something is being done’. It is not being done, it is being hidden.

The two major parties in this country are falling apart,. The third has already fallen apart and is now determined to bring about a no-deal Brexit and the abolition of the House of Sleeping Lards.

Feminism is in at least a dozen factions. Trans people, a tiny minority, are a prime concern for the Mayor of London who is a Muslim and therefore instructed by his religion to kill them in nasty ways. Gay people hold up rainbow flags with ‘Allah loves diversity’ written on them. No, he really doesn’t. Read the book. He couldn’t be more clear on this.

Knife crime will lead to the banning of knives which are already banned in public anyway (you can have a folding knife with a blade of less than 3 inches (7.5 cm) as long as it doesn’t lock open and that is all you can have). Machete attacks are common so.. ban machetes? See above. They already are banned. Doesn’t seem to make a difference when it’s not enforced, does it?

Acid attacks mean we should ban the possession of acid which is going to get awkward for car battery sales and for anyone who drives a car. Also for anyone who likes vinegar on their chips because you know our elected representatives are not going to think this through at all.

Shootings are increasing so let’s ban guns. Oh wait, we already did. We banned hard drugs too, that must have worked… didn’t it?

Sweden has regular grenade attacks and bombings now. Won’t be too long before London has them too.

My stance on immigration is simple. Anyone can come, anyone at all – but I wouldn’t pay them to come. No free stuff and no preferential treatment. You want to come and live here, fine, but you make your own way.

As for the Windrush generation, as I said, most of them were here before I was born and they were invited. The Home Office trying to deport them now is beyond shameful.

The same Home Office that welcomes back Jihadists who fought against our soldiers.

It’s a strange world when you have to look at your own government and wonder…

‘Whose side are you on?’