Spider Humanity

Spoiler alert – if you haven’t yet watched the Dr. Who episode about spiders, this will ruin it.

If you have, this will… ruin it.

Story rules for writers – it has to make sense and every scene matters. ‘The dwarf in the suitcase’ is the usual term for something left in the back of the story that achieves nothing and is just a distraction.

This particular episode of Dr. Who was as viciously infused with PC as the rest of the new batch. Nothing to do with the actors, it was all down to the writers.

We had the irrelevant addition early on. Mention of a same sex marriage (the other partner never appears) that had no bearing on the story right at the start. Nothing wrong with same sex marriage as far as I am concerned, but it was simply not relevant and did not need to be mentioned. It did nothing to the story line.

That same character then went into mysterious tunnels and recorded her ‘confession’ on her phone before being caught by a giant spider. It was irrelevant. Nobody in the story found the phone, it added nothing, it was pointless. Should have been a deleted scene.

Then we have the humanity. The Doctor hates guns (despite Doctors 3 and 4 at least having a close connection with a Brigadier and the UK army) so nobody was allowed to shoot the spiders. Instead the Doctor sealed them in a room with no spider food. There, the Doctor thought, they would have a humane death as they ate each other until the last one died of starvation. Yeah Doc, very humane.

The final big spider, the ‘boss’ in the game, died of a bullet to the brain from a man who was, well, an arse. This doctor hates guns (of course) and denounced the arse as an utter arse because the spider was already dying.

Yes, it was. It had grown way too big for spiracle-oxygenation to work. It was dying of asphyxiation, slowly, in agony, and nothing could stop it happening. A bullet to the brain was indeed, as the arse said, a mercy killing. The PC anti-gun Doctor would have let it die in pain.

The plot had more holes than a cheese grater. The arrogant arse was an American with a chain of hotels and other business interests who was going to run for President of the USA. A Trump parody? Could have been, but they couldn’t help themselves. He declared he hated Trump and was opposing him. So the bad guy was a Democrat. Oops!

The spiders they had found outside the hotels were instantly forgotten. As were all the mass of spider activity anomalies that led them there in the first place. Nobody bothered clearing that up.

The episode had some great CGI but the story was a mess. It will be improved if they can get writers who write SF rather than propagandists who want the PC message shoved in at all costs. Dr. Who could still be a fantastic show, hell I have watched it since 1963, but this latest ‘political message doctor’ is wecking the storylines.

It is not supposed to be real. We know it is not real. It is fantasy, it is a bit of fun.

Get your fucking politics out of our relaxation time.