Dreaming of reality.

Well let’s see. We have Argentina claiming they were kicked out of the Falklands they never owned by the British who occupied it before Argentina existed. Notably, Argentina is keeping quiet about all the people they displaced. They have Miserable Morrisey on their side – well they can keep the whining fat idiot.

In America, Piers Morgan is insisting the Americans change their Constitution to suit him. The American government look like they agree but the American people look very much as though they most definitely don’t. America tried to get him sent back. Nope, you guys can keep him.

We still have far more idiots than we can handle here. Any other countries want some? They’re free.

Who wants the cretin who smokes, but believes that if he extracts nicotine from the cigarettes he smokes, it magically becomes a deadly poison? More – he expected his nine year old son to administer this poison, even though he thought it would kill on contact. Even more – he thought he could frame his wife’s new bloke by adding a hair to the mix. There is so much stupid in that story that I have to call on professional help to declare it.

The Mail, bathed in their natural cologne of bile and spite, keep harping on about the idiot being a smoker. They’re trying Hitler’s old trick of associating a group with a Terrible Thing but they’re just as stupid as the nicotine-extractor. Would any country like the entire Mail staff? I hear China is looking for organ donors. Just be sure not to use the brain, even if you find one.

How about the hospital and/or fire service who decided that fifteen stone is too fat to safely evacuate? That’s 210 pounds for the Americans, who I realise haven’t grasped the entire Imperial system yet.

If you’re a rugby player, don’t go to that hospital if you’re ill. If you are about six feet tall and full of muscle with no fat at all, they’ll class you as too heavy. And look at this. Just look at this:

Margaret Watt, chairperson of Scotland Patients’ Association said: ‘I’ve never heard anything like this before and it is totally unacceptable.

…

‘We’ve known for a long time that many people are overweight, that’s not happened overnight, so the hospital should be clever enough to cater for everyone in all areas.

She concedes that it’s ‘not all that obese’ even though, unless you are four foot six and require round doors in your house, it’s not obese at all. In many cases, not even fat. And she’s an ‘expert’.

And this! Hell’s bells!

it can not affect many, as 15 st is enormous . If people are that obese they must lose some weight before going into hospital – pete, Brighton, 14/1/2013 18:04

What is happening in Brighton? Is there a rogue lobotomist on the loose? Fifteen stone is enormous? What is Pete, I wonder? An elf, perhaps?

Then we have stories of the Government positively Savilating over the prospect of stealing more children so they can be adopted by people who don’t have children while orphanages are still full of children who are waiting for adoption.  Okay, I can’t make sense of that one either.

Speaking of children – I realise it’s no longer politically correct to refer to the Irish as stupid, but their government most certainly is. Stupid and very, very dangerous. If you were considering taking your children for a nice Irish holiday this year, reconsider. Even if you don’t smoke. They don’t have to prove you were smoking, they just have to say you were, and then they fine you. Even Stalin would be gasping in admiration.

There is no sign of sanity in the Scottish parliament either and as for the Welsh Assembly, well there’s a reason Wales voted ‘don’t care’ at devolution time. It was always going to be a loony bin. If only it had come with a regular collection day.

In Wastemonster, the MPs are demanding to be given money if they decide not to be MPs any more. If they could be given money on the basis their seat would no longer exist, fine with me. That’s not what they want. Currently they get a bag of cash if they lose their seat but not if they decide to not bother being MPs any more. Now they want to be paid for not bothering.

Most of the country thinks they already are.

Looks like a few of them plan to jump ship at the next election and want the fare to Nicaragua. Can’t we club together and send them all now?

There is so much more but I have to sleep now. I used to sleep and dream of absurdities and monsters and write them down when I woke up. Now they are all in the news.

Tonight I’ll probably dream of reality. It’s the only way to see any these days.