Antibinge Drinker.

Most people look forward to Fridays so they can drink themselves silly. I work until 9 pm Friday and start again 10 am Saturday. Every other working day starts at 2:30 pm. Friday is the only night I have to restrict the drink. I am The Antibinger. When everyone else is drunk, I am sober. When everyone else is sober…

Tonight I am bingeing on sobriety(ish). It will hurt in the morning but I’ll be okay after my Saturday Lidl visit. I think I’ll stick with Glen Orchy again, money is tight this time of year and it’s a very good cheap blend of malts. Good quality whisky is easy to determine – if your head feels like it’s full of sharp sand in the morning, the whisky was crap.

If the world drops out of your bottom, so was the curry. If you are ever in this neck of the woods I will show you the curry place that sells lamb Ceylon. A wonderfully vicious curry that still burns on the way out but has a cleansing effect rather than a damaging effect. Perfect in cold weather, it feels like a furnace inside. You can melt snow by glaring at it. You can be a farting icebreaker. You can Be Global Warming! That curry is the reason the pavements here were frozen this morning, but are not frozen now.

I tried looking for some news that wasn’t about ‘old man dies of being old’ but the papers don’t seem interested in anything else today. He can count himself lucky he wasn’t in an NHS hospital. They’d have finished him years ago. So I became bored with looking.

Instead, here is P. J. O’Rourke who can write better than what I can, on the subject of plain packaging (found via VGIF).

And now, since I’m not drinking and therefore only have Whyte and Mackay, I will retire for the evening. I have ‘Inside Outside’ back with co-author comments and some beta-reader comments but can’t get involved in that tonight. Tomorrow night, maybe. I had it envisaged in the style of Aldiss’ ‘The Eighty-Minute Hour‘ but maybe it works better in the style of Asimov’s ‘The Gods Themselves‘. Less fractionated, perhaps.

I’ll sleep on it.

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27 thoughts on “Antibinge Drinker.

  1. True story which might amuse you, a friend of mine, a car mechanic used to maintain an elderly ladies car and she asked him if he liked whisky, he did indeed. Her late husband was once a manager in some distillery and there were some bottles in the loft. She gave him six bottles, he had finished four when his then girlfriend who worked in some auction room in Glasgow said she had not heard the name and there was a whisky auction on so she took a bottle. To his horror it was valued at £600, seems it was rare as the distillery no longer existed, he sold the last two but the worst thing was not only did he get drunk on it but he added Irn Bru! Most expensive whisky ever and he was too drunk to appreciate it.

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    • Hell he was still up £1200 and a hangover!

      I’d love to be able to say I drank £600-a-bottle whisky, but I’d never admit to putting Irn Bru in it! Not that it it has ever occurred to me to do that with any whisky.

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      • Several hangovers actually! What annoyed him most was because he didn’t realise it was anything special when he added the Irn Bru he didn’t even know what it was really like. The remaining two bottles were sold to a Japanese buyer.

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    • Adding Irn Bru to whisky ? I like Irn Bru, and I like whisky, but put the two together and what will happen ? Probably a foul-tasting mixture. Like a bad Jagermisester.

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  2. XX You can be a farting icebreaker.XX

    Farting after such a curry? Risky business.

    “Brave-fart, a man with diohreah!”

    The sequal to the world famous film about “William (Two pairs of underpants) Wallace.”

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  3. You could be on to an earner here. Black market B & B. Good curry houses, home grown baccy, smokey-drinky nights out & an intelligent host who is willing to drink with you, It sounds like a winner to me.

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  4. I just discovered a website that sells 50yr old whisky. They want a lot of money for it, but single shots are availiable for £20 each. I am tempted.

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    • Most expensive drink I had was In a well known restaurant in Amsterdam back in 1980, 40 year old Jeaneau Armagnac at £25 a shot, we had the nerve to have two. Cheapest was in Teheran in 1978 when we asked for two vodkas and we were given a bottle and two glasses, happy days! We had two then as well. It cost about 70p a bottle, used to buy it by the case and Rothmans
      International about £4 for 200. If we had not had been forced to leave we would have stayed for another 10 years.

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  5. Since you are the whisky expert maybe you can answer this, it has annoyed me for ages. About 30 years ago my late husband had a long IT contract with Walkers in Kilmarnock, he used to buy various whiskies to try. I don’t really like whisky but there was one I did, I have never been able to remember the name but it was an unusual shaped bottle with a very colourful label in bright colours. While he was there he said it was no longer sold in the home market, always annoyed me that I can’t remember but I would know it if I heard it. Also he was sent to ones of the island/highland distilleries and said the female staff who took him out for the evening drank him under the table! Told him they were weaned on it.

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    • Cardhu is an unusual shape, squat and sort-of squareish with indented sides. Wlakers though, if it’s Johnnie Walker, their ‘black label’ was supposed to be export only but you can get it in Tesco at a silly price. The red label is everywhere but not that great. The bottles are square rather than round.

      Can you remember the bottle shape?

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      • Cardhu rings a bell, I thought I would recognise the name now I am not sure, he used to bring home so many different ones. I remember the very bright label and I have never seen it for sale anywhere. It was almost like a liqueur whisky, probably why I liked it. The label had pink/blue and yellow elongated diamond shapes I think, Ian said it was mainly going to the Far East market. Black label was the last drink my husband had before he collapsed, I still have the bottle, he would say he was taken away from it! Only had one out of it too.

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  6. I remember the Cardhu bottle now, that wasn’t the one I am trying to remember, I wonder if there is somewhere on the internet I could look. It is very annoying.

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