Sugar vs. Fat

I’ve put on a few pounds lately. Have to watch that. I don’t want to be fat again. I know some people are happy with it but it doesn’t suit me.

It’s unlikely to be a problem. Boss is on holiday for two weeks so my next day off will be August 10th. That should keep me trim. Better yet, I have morning shift so I can work on the anthology in the afternoons.

Since there isn’t much to do on morning shift, I’ll get some work on it in the mornings too 😉

I heard there is soon to be another visit by the head honchos of the Secret Ninja Cleaners. I’ve never met them. Every time they visit there’s a sudden shift change and I always have that day off. This time, Boss is on holiday so there won’t be any shift changes. I’m sure it’ll be a very interesting day.

Anyway, the work will burn off some burgers and a few visits to the chip shop and pizza shop along the street. Calories in less than calories out and the weight just falls away.

It really is that simple, you know. You don’t need to target specific food groups. I eat whatever the hell I like and always have. I just try not to eat more than I use.

You’re burning calories all the time. Even when asleep. You have to, in order to maintain your body temperature, keep your heart pumping and all your internal organs working. I’m burning more calories just sitting here typing than if I was sitting here reading. Not much more, it’s true, but a bit more. Every little helps.

I have met fat vegetarians. I don’t mean just a little bit chubby either. They didn’t get that way on chips and burgers. They did it on Quorn and tofu and that bizarre vegetarian bacon stuff. I still can’t get my head round the fact that that stuff even exists.

Oh sure I eat fruit and veg, but if I wanted to catch up on five-a-day I’d have to eat several medium sized orchards in under a week. I don’t count calories, I don’t care about portion sizes, I don’t care how much sugar and salt and fat is in the food, I just eat things I like to eat.

Yes, a lot of them are deep fried. I live in Scotland. I’ve had deep fried pies and deep fried pizza. Deep fried haggis in batter. A quarter of a chicken deep fried in batter. That’s fantastic by the way. It’s available in every UK chip shop, not just Scotland.

I ignore all medical nannying. I like whisky and cigarettes. I will eat fruit but there has to be meat involved, especially bacon. Bacon soothes the soul and calms the spirit. I wear 34-inch waist trousers and need a belt to keep them up.

The NHS can’t find anything wrong with me. I went to an optician last year with glasses that were actually rusting because I hadn’t been for so long. My prescription hadn’t changed at all. I recently visited a dentist and the dentist said I was in remarkably good shape for someone who hadn’t been near the Chair of Pain for over 20 years. One has to come out, one needs a filling and there’s a bit of root left from a botched home extraction about 15 years ago. Otherwise, I’m good.

All this and not one tad of Medical Missionary Zeal has touched me. There are those at work telling me I’m living all wrong and should pay attention to the medics… and they are all fatter than me and get out of breath walking up a few steps. If they are really listening to medical advice, it’s killing them.

Look, people, the five-a-day veggies and the alcohol units stuff is all made up. It’s been publicly admitted as a total lie. People still believe it. People never think to wonder that if those cornerstones of health mantras are lies, how much of the rest of it is lies?

It’s also been admitted that doctors like to tell you that whatever medication they give you will react badly with alcohol so you can’t have any. It’s true of some medications but certainly not all of them. It’s just a useful way for the doc to make you stop drinking.

I went drinking with medical students in my university days. I saw exactly what they were like and vowed then not to trust those pissed wasters with my health. Almost got beaten to a pulp by a medical student called Concorde. It wasn’t his real name. It was what I called him because he had the nose for it.

Nowadays medical research focuses on single issues. Salt, sugar, fat… these are irrelevancies. By the way, did you know that if you don’t have enough sodium in your diet your body takes it from your bones, making them brittle? The zero salt diet will make you die like a washed up jellyfish. Something modern medicine seems to want to happen.

None of it matters. Burn more calories than you eat, you lose weight. Eat more calories than you burn, you gain weight. It’s really no more complicated than that.

I guess there’s no research money in the obvious answer.