The Caliphate of Canada

Many Americans, especially the rich and famous luvvies of Hollywood, said they would move to Canada if Trump won the election. I neither know nor care if any of them actually did it.

Well, Canada has now made blasphemy a punishable offence. Only blasphemy against Islam, of course. You can make nose jokes about Jews and send Jesus a Screwfix catalogue open at the nails page, no problem. You can poke fun at Kali (probably best not to, just in case, she’s pretty badass) and you can say you have the body of a god – unfortunately it’s Buddha – and nobody minds. You can watch and laugh at those Japanese ‘Monkey’ shows that were a total piss take of the Chinese god Hanuman and your front door will never feel the kick of a single jackboot.

Say one word against Beard Boy and his baby-shagging habits and the police will arrive, stroke their beards and smooth down their one piece white uniforms, then give you a formal warning that will leave you about eight inches shorter.

They were going to run from Trump to a country that just set itself back into the fourteenth century. Blasphemy laws. Really? In 2017 we have new blasphemy laws? And you lot were scared of Trump? You were enraged that he wanted to restrict travel from those countries where such blasphemy laws still exist? And you decided the safest place to be was… an Islamic dictatorship.

Excuse me while I giggle a bit.

I know there are politically correct cretins thinking ‘Oh but if you don’t say anything bad about Islam, you’ll be fine’. You fucking idiots. Read up on the Spanish Inquisition. You don’t have to do anything wrong. It’s a law against spoken words. You don’t have to actually say the words. All it takes is for someone to report that you said it. Then, frankly, you are screwed.

And when an Islamist blows up a train with your mother on it, or sells your daughter to his friends as a sex slave (as happens in the UK) you can’t say anything about it. Tell it to the police and they’ll arrest you for Islamophobia. Hey, you let it happen. Don’t shoot the messenger.

Sharia works in much the same way as the Inquisition. Seriously, read up on it. God can never be wrong so if you are arrested by religious police you must be guilty of something. Pretty much all 14th-century religions had that attitude.

Islam has won Canada. You think it stops with this new law? Hahahaha! Canada is two years from cutting hands off thieves, rape victims needing four witnesses, gay people dropped from skyscrapers and public stonings and beheadings. Unless the Canadians do something about it, starting right now. Time’s up guys. As the old saying goes, shit or burst. Do something now or suffer the consequences.

For all the bad stuff said about Trump, he would never let this happen in the USA.

Canada, have a song from that other bastion of control freakery, Australia. At least you can still speak there.