Inverting reality

Twitter now has the hashtag #RespectforMuslims. Oh, I nearly re-cracked my ribs laughing. There are so many people out there now, not just these Muslims, who think they just have to demand respect and it’s theirs. Those are the ones we all laugh hardest at and they will never understand why.

Demanding to be respected when three of your number ‘bravely’ stormed the offices of a newspaper and ‘defied overwhelming odds’ while gunning down unarmed people is, frankly, risible. That sort of thing does not get anyone respect. It earns only derision and hate. You sound like the Jamaican ‘brothas’ in this old song. Respect is never gained through threats or violence. Only idiots and thugs believe it can be. Do not ask for respect and do not demand it. Do something to earn it. Demanding respect at this time can only inflame the situation.

Which is exactly what is happening. Now. Look, Muslims, you know you have a problem with maniacs. It’s your problem. You sort it out. Don’t ask for respect until you have done that. When you have done that (if you can be arsed) then the rest of us will respect you immensely for it. If you don’t bother then you are going to be lumped in with your loonies, like it or not, and the absolute last thing you will ever get is respect. Your choice.

 

In another reality inversion reported often on Twitter today, the Righteous pretend that Electrofag is more dangerous than going around with burning leaves in your mouth. They pretend that nicotine is super-addictive and brain-destroying and this will help reinforce the terror of niacin that I’ve already started. So thanks, imbeciles, for helping me achieve my goal to revive pellagra among the stupid.

It is all utter bollocks of course. It will, as is intended, force people onto tobacco rather than Electrofag. The Righteous have declared that Electrofag is a gateway to smoking, which is nonsense. You can go from harsh smoke that you have to get used to, to mild steam inhalation. That’s easy, and I speak as one who likes both. I know the difference. It’s a big difference.

Nobody who starts on Electrofag will be able to handle real smoke. It is hotter and harsher and it would be like going from an asthma inhaler to bonfire smoke. It will not happen but they have already claimed it will.

So now they have to make it happen and they are trying to make it happen by telling current vapers that real tobacco is safer. It will only take one idiot to believe them and report moving from Electrofag to cigarettes and they will scream ‘See! We told you!”

They are trying to make their ridiculous prediction come true. In doing so, they are spouting lies that you can see through in the dark, blindfolded, and yet the drones will believe it.

Formaldehyde. For Alan Akbar’s sake. It’s everywhere. It’s a simple organic molecule. It comes out in human and animal breath. Are you going to die if a kitten breathes on you? Someone is going to believe it. I’ll find them and convince them.

And what if you know someone who has kittens? Second hand kitten breath is ten times deadlier than actively inhaling kittens. Even if they aren’t burning but are only heated up a bit. In fact, ElectroKittenBreath is more dangerous than KittenBreath. If your kitten breathes onto a lightbulb, you will be dead in under a week and you will die lumpier than school-dinner custard.

Sounds ridiculous? It is exactly what the Righteous are saying now and any drone who believes the Righteous is going to have nightmares when they meet me.

I don’t believe tobacco is anywhere near as harmful as is claimed. Neither is booze. I will soon be 55 years old and have had a total of two overnight stays in hospital. That’s it. Neither was smoking related. The last one, but not the first, was admittedly drink related. I was plastered when I fell against the new and unfamiliar sharp edges in the kitchen, cracked two ribs and bust a kidney. It’s all grown back now. Smokers heal fast and we can regenerate into new smokers if you kill us. We are SmokeLords from the planet Galliashtray. Didn’t you know?

The NHS put me on all the machines. I had another go on the X-rays and a ride on the CT scanner. What the hell, with all the NI I’ve paid in, I want a go on at least some of the rides. They found… nothing. There is nothing at all wrong with me. And yet according to their lifestyle-based lifespan predictor, I’ve been dead since 1986. I don’t even take aspirin.

I wish they’d tell that to the taxman. He still wants money, long after my official demise.

It is good not to be part of UK science any more. The biological disciplines especially. If you don’t believe that smoking causes everything and drinking causes everything and not having a body that looks like a skin-covered skeleton causes everything, then you are a Heretic and will be destroyed. Yes, they still use BMI even though it has been shown to be no more reliable than the average political manifesto for a long time now.

I do not hate all Muslims. That sort of indiscriminate hate leads to what Lord Skip describes. I do not hate ‘groups’ although I intensely hate certain individuals. Maybe all Muslims hate me. I don’t care. The thoughts of those who hate me are of no relevance to me at all. I don’t care what (or even whether) the antismokers think and they are a much more immediate threat to my way of life.

I have no hate for vapers. Why would I? They have chosen to live their lives in a different way to mine but that does not affect me at all. Just as the way I live my life has no effect on vapers, so if the pompous among them would just shut the fuck up it would be appreciated. I do nothing to damage vaping or vapers even though the Righteous freely hand out the weaponry to do it. All I ask is the same in return. Is it really asking too much?

It probably is, isn’t it?

Any form of antimokers, look at what Islam just did and look in a mirror and tell yourselves you’d never do that to smokers. In the name of being a bit miffed that other people don’t live as you instruct.

Islam takes it to the extreme but really, it’s the logical conclusion for every hate group, isn’t it?