Clutching at straws.

Home from holiday – more on that later. The new battery for the Acer arrived while I was away. Windows is definitely doomed on that little machine. The last few days it has insisted on running a full filesystem check on drive C at startup which takes ages to report ‘Nope, it’s all fine’. So that one is getting a new brain, and then the desktop replacement… no, save it all for later.

Via #Octabber on Farcebok comes this interesting snippet. It’s in the mainstream media – and yet it’s what we’ve all been saying for years! Things are changing. Times are turning against the Puritans once again. They are getting desperate now.

One of the ASH drones was on the TV news while I was offline. She insisted that a blanket ban on Electrofags was the only safe way because ‘they expose bystanders to nicotine and other harmful chemicals’.

Ahem. Nicotine is not harmful, never has been and unless you concentrate it, take drugs to suppress your gag reflex and then drink it, it never will be. If nicotine kills people (as ASH love to imply) then every doctor who has ever prescribed nicotine patches and/or gum, along with all those involved in production and supply, are guilty of attempted mass murder.

The other ‘harmful chemicals’ are propylene glycol (food grade, used as a thickening agent in many foods and also in medical atomisers), food-grade flavourings, and steam. If those are harmful, a whole raft of food producers will be in the dock beside the medics and the Pharmers and the shops selling anything containing any of this stuff. Since, as ASH like to say, the date of guilty knowledge is long past, there can only be one verdict.

Taking things to their logical conclusion is fun, isn’t it? The ASH drones are either so desperate they have given up any form of thinking ahead, or, perhaps more likely, they are incapable of thinking ahead.

The smokophobes prefer to take things to their illogical conclusion, because they are all stupid and driven only by spite and hate. Hence their latest claim that Hollywood has decided to use Electrofag as a prop to denote the bad guy.

Never ones to let facts get in the way of a good spite-fest, they begin with a version of logic so twisted you could screw it into a concrete block and hang a bulldozer on it.

But tobacco companies hoping that e-cigarettes will receive similar treatment are in for an unpleasant surprise.

Sigh. Tobacco companies are really hoping Electrofag falls flat. The antismoker mind is so bizarrely warped that they actually believe the tobacco companies want their biggest competitor ever to succeed. So far have the Puritans conflated anything resembling smoking with actual smoking, they will soon declare that someone chewing a pencil proves that tobacco companies make pencils.

Actually, if a pencil-like object were made of compressed tobacco it could be a new Sneaky Snus. You could even put graphite down the middle of it and actually use it as a pencil, then surreptitiously bite a bit off the end. Save the shavings when sharpening, of course, then pack them into little paper tubes to avoid littering. You can burn them later. This might never actually happen but the mere thought of it should be enough to soil some antismoker underwear.

The rest of the story has no more logic than that opening statement. It claims that Electrofag is to be used as the new ‘black hat’ for the bad guy – the usual one is an English accent these days. I recall seeing the film of Stephen King’s ‘Dreamcatcher’. Even in that film, the evil alien had a proper ‘what-ho chaps’ English accent.

The real story is that the actor has a pause in action and the director doesn’t know what to do to avoid having him just stand there. So he puffs on an Electrofag.

Why not a real cigarette? Those have been excised from films in the name of Righteousness. Soon, Electrofags will be too. And chewing on pencils. And toothpicks. The smokophobes are getting seriously deperate now. Soon, even the Daily Mail will notice. Well, maybe not ‘soon’. Eventually.

How far we have come from the 1945 film ‘Dead of Night’ where the killer was identifiable from the beginning to those in the know.

He was the only one not smoking.


Incidentally, it’s nearly time for Octabber again. Good of the smokophobes to pick October for their daft ‘Stoptober’ game. That’s when the annual crop is just about ready to burn.

So those of us growing our own only need to produce a month’s worth of free smokes. There’s no danger of any tax going in for that month.

Isambard’s Cigar

Another quickie. I’m on the move again tomorrow. Unpleasantly early (ie before noon). I wish I’d taken a non-electronic camera with me because the views over the windfarm monstrosities around Glasgow were worth recording. Our (I mean, we checked-in cargo units) cabin crew on the way down was a very jolly Big Gay Al, and on the way back we were attended to by a smiling Nosferatu. Cheap airlines do not come with ogleworthy cabin crew. Getting onto a small plane with a tall, stooped thin man in black grinning at you was a little disconcerting but there’s bound to be a short story in there somewhere.

I didn’t take a film-camera because I suspected the drones in security, unable to find a screen or an ‘on’ switch, would probably open the back. All my gadgetry was charged as per the warnings but nobody looked at a thing. Airport security, both ways, was the most relaxed I have seen for years.

I see the collapse of the Leftie Loonies continues apace with the admission that all those ‘racists’ were quite right about the child rapists in Rotherham. Yes, everyone already knew, even those who are now trying to avoid accepting the blame. Seems the Savile Distraction didn’t work.

But I must sleep. I have a goodly dose of sleepy-water to help me on my way; this one is Glenfiddich. What the hell, I’m not going to be driving. Details and photos will follow.

One thing worth mentioning among the downfall of Political Correctness – the Daily Mail is trying an antismoking story and getting it most spectaularly wrong. IKB, they say, smoked 40 big cigars a day. And just look how it destroyed his mind, his work ethic and his life. Oh, wait…

I recall a most wonderful animated film called ‘Great’, all about Isambard Kingdom Brunel. It included the marvellous song that started ‘Get a big top hat if you want to get ahead’. Some of it used to be on YouTube but it seems to be gone now.

So instead, here is a slightly inferior offering.


Facing darkness.

Tomorrow (no, later today) I go back to Scotland. Not all the way home, not yet. I have people to visit on the way. Unlike Subrosa I will bypass England’s Green-ruined motorway system by flying over them in a right little Fokker.

Internet access has been slow but available this week. That’s okay, I needed to work on Panoptica and get another view on the draft version of Inside Outside, both of which have been achieved. I have also finally found the motivation that gets the rebels moving – the ones 10538 refers to as ‘ghosts’ because originally, they thought Panoptica decadent and dying. All they had to do was wait. I have a surprise for them that changes things and livens up the story a hell of a lot.

For the rest of this week I have no idea what internet access will be available. Maybe none. None would not be too bad, it will force me to not procrastinate and actually do some work.

I hear there have been ground frosts in Scotland which does not bode well for my tobacco plants, nor for any of the others. Oh well, we’ll have to just wait and see. Ground frosts in August were last seen in 1964 so no doubt that will be more proof of global warming for the throroughly stupid.

I am way behind on responding to comments and emails and that is likely to continue for another week. I noticed that Roobeedoo2 found out that it’s now possible to put images in comments, which could be fun.

Okay, maybe I’ll be back online next week, maybe not until the end of August. I have no idea. It’s just another random thing that seems to happen a lot to me, so I just accept it all.

Now, back to what I am supposed to be doing – writing.



War, disease, terror…

In the now-famous speech by V in the film ‘V for Vendetta’, these things were what he said were used to coerce voters into voting for the dictatorship.

Look at our leaders. Cameron is once more surfing in Cornwall and Clegg is cooking up a stew in India. Yet we have ebola being flown into the US, Spain and the UK. We have British jihadis beheading American reporters in Iraq. Full-on war all over the Middle East caused, almost entirely, by Western government meddling. A UN conference coming up in Cardiff (fortunately after I’ve gone back to Scotland) which has resulted in the construction of a barrier to rival the one Israel built around Gaza, or the Communists built around East Berlin. Scotland’s very own chubby version of Windy Miller wants Scotland to be independent and, once he runs out of hot air to power his windmills, as invisible at night as North Korea.

A widespread outbreak of Ebola in the UK would be difficult to do, but there’s no need. Remember necrotising fasciitis, the flesh-eating bug? Everyone was terrified they would dissolve away in a matter of hours. There were eight cases in one year at the peak. Eight.

You do not need to engineer a massive outbreak. You need only have one case in the UK, one person to actually catch it here, and there will be panic. Today, a plane that landed in Aberdeen was quarantined because a 10-year-old girl was sick on the flight. Not an uncommon thing. Airlines provide bags for the purpose. However, she came from Nairobi so it was a full hazmat lockdown while she was checked. That’s not all that unreasonable really but if you had asked the people outside the plane, I’ll bet a fair number of them would have supported the idea of torching the whole lot, pilot and passengers included, rather than take the chance. Fear and rationality don’t work well together.

If there is one home-caught case of ebola in the UK, the next suspected case on a plane will see a mob with pitchforks and flaming torches.

There is strife and turmoil and disaster everywhere and the potential for it to get much worse but it doesn’t really have to. It only needs to look as if it is going to. We now have senior politicians stating – stating, not theorising – that they expect an attack from Islamoloonies any day now. A big, spectacular attack, as they put it. People are terrified.

Look again at what our leaders are doing now. They don’t appear to be terrified, do they? They don’t seem bothered in the least. Worldwide catastrophe is not worth interrupting a holiday for. Why are they so untroubled? Could it be because everything is proceeding exactly as planned?

The seeds of ebola are planted in the US, UK and Spain. It does not have to be an outbreak. One case, caught from those flown home, will do. Imagine what happens once ebola is out of the box. Imagine what happens when you are  on a bus or a train and you sneeze…

The terrorists don’t need to be real. You don’t even need a false-flag operation any more. Any accidental gas explosion, any motorway pile-up, anything at all, all you need do is say you are ‘investigating whether terrorism was involved’ and that is what will stick in the drone mind. Three nuts from Cardiff went off to get themselves killed in Iraq and look at the speculation about the enormous jihadi terror cell that is supposed to now exist in Cardiff. Where the UN are about to have a meeting. If they really believed in this evil genius in Cardiff, don’t you think they’d be having that meeting somewhere else? They have most of the world to choose from. Or maybe there is to be an attack, one which will fail but which will look convincing. We shall see.

If Cameron was really serious about his wars all over the world fighting terrorists, drug dealers, fat people, drinkers, smokers, climate heretics and people who pass the port to the right, why is he reducing the British military and why is he so totally unconcerned about current events?

War. Terror. Disease… Fear. Those who live in fear do not reason. They do not calculate. They do not consider outcomes or consequences. They want only one thing. A release from fear. They want it now. Right now. At any price.

Only later do they find that their relase from fear brings no more than a different kind of fear. And then it’s too late.

Fies my soul?

Well, I turn my back for five minutes and the whole world goes completely nuts. Now there is an insane allegation against Cliff Richard, backed up by a probably-illegal dawn raid on a house he wasn’t in, which he moved into a few years ago, to look for evidence of something that was supposed to have happened decades ago. Oh, and the police didn’t think to inform Mr. R although they managed to tip off the BBC, who got there first. That’s modern British justice in action.

They would never have dared do this while Rik Mayall was alive.

Cliff went from (for his day) a pretty much pure young lad (no, he wasn’t perfect, but compared to many of his contemporaries…) to full-on committed Christian. Could he have abstained from all the fun in life for all these years? There have always been rumours that he’s gay but anyone who doesn’t poke their man-bit into any available orifice these days gets those rumours. So we can brush those aside.

Heck, even Simon Cowell has been accused of being gay. He got someone else’s wife pregnant! What does a celeb have to do these days? Get filmed in the act? Oh, right, some already have.

Compare Cliff’s conversion from pretty nice guy into someone so sweet it’s sickening with Tiny Tim’s conversion from hedonist to Christian. Tiny Tim would never have been allowed to join the Kinks because he was too kinky, but all that changed and he became almost asexual, to the point where he hated himself for the occasional lonely hand crank. Which cannot possibly harm anyone because nobody else is there.

If Tiny Tim could make such a huge switch in lifestyle on becoming Christian,  then Cliff’s change would barely register.

I don’t believe this allegation against Cliff. I am amazed that even the CPS took it seriously. I suspect the handling of that raid on his house will gert the case busted, if nothing else. And ‘nothing else’ is what the CPS has – if they had so much as a photo with a child in the background, we’d have heard about it by now.

They have an allegation that something happened nearly three decades ago and they have one person’s word that it happened. That is it. On that basis they want to take down God’s own chanter. This could be the wall this paedohunt has been speeding towards.

But Cliff should be arrested and charged, not on the basis of some made-up allegation but because of that repeated line in ‘Living Doll’.

‘Fies my soul?’ Nobody should be allowed to get away with that.

No nuts

This little machine does a good job of keeping me off the internet by being unbelievably slow. Windows’ days are definitely numbered on this one.

Anyway. A little while back, a man was banned from Ryanair for two years for showing his nuts. Peanuts. If mine were the size of peanuts I wouldn’t show them to anyone, but he whipped out his nuts on the plane and a girl went into shock.

Now, nut allergy is a serious matter. It can kill people. It is dangerous. It’s not the same as being a bit miffed about tobacco smoke. It is not jus a bit irritating. It really can cause death

However, most people don’t have it. And most of thoswemost-people will find it very hard to believe that even opening a bag of nuts six rows away from nut prey would do any harm. When they allowed smoking on planes it wouldn’t have but let’s not upset the drones with the problems they created.

Now there is a story of the airlines starting to fight back against the tide of ‘I don’t like it so nobody can have it.’ They have picked the wrong target but then they have to start somewhere. They have declared that they are not a nut-free airline and do not carry nut prey.

Yet they are still smoke-free. They will not accomodate those who can genuinely be killed by exposure to a thing, while insisting that those in no danger at all must have their paranoia pandered to.

Nuit allergy is serious but you cannot expect the world to accomodate you, not when it is far too busy accommodating every single issue nutcase who is offended by a smell. The real stuff gets shoved aside and it’s hard to care because mostly, those suffering now are those who started it all.

Many years ago, Marty Feldman showed these people for what they really are.


The Underdog has Landed.

I am safely in Wales, courtesy of a pretty fast little Fokker. The plane was a Fokker 50, a little one, and not even half full.

It’s late, there is Bushmills (not my ideal but it’s okay, I will remedy this situation tomorrow) Anyway I always supply the whisky when visiting. That’s only fair because I drink most of it.

One thing I have to do when I get back is buy some leaves. Couldn’t buy before in case they arrived after I left and ended up going bad in the back of a van. Besides, I didn’t fancy explaining a load of leaf to airport security.

As it was, the security has changed. All this stuff about confiscating uncharged gadgetry – I had my usual bag of gadgets and nobody asked me turn any of them on. Where they used to confiscate tweezers, the signs now say they will take any blade over 6 cm from you.

I also noticed that the card they give you when they ask ‘are any of these things in your luggage?’ includes… petrol driven chainsaws. Damn! I knew I’d forgotten to pack something!

Anyway, there will be a leaf order going in on my return. I have a supply of Man with a Van’s Amber Leaf rolling baccy but might have to resort to buying tubing baccy at shop prices. What the hell, I’m on holiday, I’ll cope for a few days.

Which supplier should I use? The one I’ve always used.

See if you can guess which one.

Oh and I’ll need to buy a cheapo keyboard to plug into this little Acer. I can type on it but not very fast. The keyboard is too small. If I get used to it then I won’t be able to continue on the full size keybaord when I get back. A cheapo USB keyboard will do and it’s always handy to have a spare anyway.

Right, offline for a while… the future won’t write itself, you know.