Venezuela shows the way

I’ll be called a Nazi (again) for this but – the left wing violent arseholes are just as bad as the right wing violent arseholes. Donnie the Trump has been castigated for ‘saying’ (they hear what they want you to have said, not what you said) that the two sides are morally equivalent.

He is right. Both seek to get their way using violence. There really is no difference. The Left claim they are morally superior because Nazis are violent and everyone should ‘punch a Nazi’. Suggest that, in that case, it should also be okay to ‘punch a Commie’ and they respond with ‘you can’t go around hitting people just because you don’t agree with them’.

Oh I’m not kidding…


Politicians, even those who are allegedly Republicans, support Antifa. So do the media. It’s always the white guy who’s the bad guy even when Antifa beat up old men and reporters. Even when Antifa turn up armed and armoured to beat up people who are neither. Even when Antifa turn up to other people’s rallies with the sole aim of causing violence. They can do no wrong.

And that is deliberate. They don’t understand that, none of the Lefties understand it, but they are doing exactly what those in charge want them to do.

Donnie Trumpton is a wild card. He wasn’t supposed to win. He’s not in the program, he’s not part of the plan. Even his own side are trying to take him down. He’s messing everything up! Imagine him saying that destroying American history is not a good thing! The horror!

Even though the Confederates were Democrats, and Democrats commissioned and erected the statues they are now tearing down. It doesn’t matter. The point is to erase history so future generations won’t learn from it. They won’t understand that slavery is bad and they’ll be compliant, happy slaves with no knowledge that in the past, slavery was abolished by the white people.

Slavery still happens in some places. Not in the self-hating white world but in other places, it happens and Lefties either pretend it doesn’t or they are happy with it. No, I’m not going to list the places. Look them up yourself.

In the UK, we had Lefties wailing in the streets when the Tories won the election but not as violently as in the USA. The reason is simple. Tessie Maybe is part of the plan. It didn’t really matter who won, there isn’t any real choice here now. Oh, Corbyn would have turned the place into Venezuela faster but it’s happening anyway. So a little bit of token protest was in order but that’s all.

Now we have people on Twitter saying all white people should die and that’s not racist in this modern land of Absurdia. There are white people saying it – they are strangely not dead themselves but they say it anyway. Don’t just talk about it, White Wailers. Actions speak louder than words.

By now you’re itching to know what the plan is, aren’t you? It’s a very simple plan. It leads to what Venezuela has just done.

Provoke more and more violence and then promise to do something about it. That ‘something’ involves giving the government power to crush any dissent, make bloggers like me ‘disappear’ in the night and give whoever is in charge dictatorial powers. Maduro will soon be able to rule by decree. It’s written into the law they are passing now.

This is the only reason anyone in the West wants to be the head of Government. When this shit hits the fan, the current Prime Monster will be the one in charge. No need for all that faffing about getting laws passed. One person in charge of each country – and in the EU, one person in charge of Europe with their own army to command.

Is Brexit happening? The alleged conservatives are stalling at every move. The whole thing has been put on hold until after Germany’s elections, as if that is somehow relevant to us leaving the Control Club. Tessie Maybe isn’t the one to get us out of the EU. She doesn’t want us out. So we’ll be ruled by a dictator in Brussels one day.

It’s so much easier to control a world where you only have to deal with one person per country. One vicious dictator who will do anything to hold on to power and money. No messing around with persuading a whole Parliament, you just have the one leader to deal with. Even easier when the EU can run a whole load of countries with one leader.

Oh and Muslims? When it happens, well, sorry guys but they won’t need you any more. You did your part in forcing populations to accept total control but you won’t be the ones in charge of it. Neither will Antifa.They’ll cheer the Venezuela style laws when they come but they won’t see that they are the ones to be disposed of. When the population is under control, nobody needs masked thugs any more.

Besides, how can you get the population under control unless you do what you promised and… erase the ones they are scared of? All you terrorists are just setting yourselves up you know.

Oh there will still be terrorists. Different ones. Have to keep the bogeyman alive otherwise what is your dictator protecting you from?

Have you ever wondered how, in the days after any terrorist attack, new control measures and complex pavement structures to restrict movement are built, painted and ready to install? Almost as if the government knew what was coming and had the stuff in storage somewhere.

You can call me a tinfoil hatter, you can laugh it off, you can say it won’t happen.

In Venezuela, it just did.

 

 

 

Dust off those saddles…

I have broken my tablet computer. Terminally. I had left it on the floor by the bed, the phone rang, I got up to answer it and crunch. To top it all there was nobody on the phone. It was probably one of those timeout sales calls.

Fortunately I had opted for a cheap Chinese-made one so it won’t hurt too bad to replace it. And it did mean I got to take it apart. I’ve always wanted to see inside one of these things. So I now have two very small good quality speakers that will fit easily inside a model train with a sound generator, a couple of tiny cameras and a microphone (not sure how to wire up a camera but I can find out). Best of all is the ‘vibrate’ motor. Runs on 3V and is less than a cm long. I can fit that into something very small indeed, along with a couple of tiny button cells. My model building interest is rekindled!

I might make a tiny electric car. Might as well, we won’t have any petrol or diesel ones soon. Then again, I’ll be 80 in 2040 so probably won’t want to do much driving. My kids will still be driving age though. They’ll be stuck with those God-awful electric cars. Not even hybrids – the petrol and diesel won’t be allowed.

Suddenly, cars are the cause of all ills. Does that let smokers off the hook? We’ve been saying for a long time that the smoke from a cigarette is nothing compared to a passing truck, nor even a drive-by in a Mini. Nobody wanted to hear it.

It doesn’t let us off the hook because it was never about health and neither is this.

Ministers believe it poses the largest environment risk to public health in the UK, costing up to £2.7bn in lost productivity in one recent year.

Ministers believe whatever it is in their interests to believe, as always. But their thinking is in terms of lost productivity, not health. Sick drones don’t work as hard. That’s how it was sold to them. Same as with tobacco, booze, salt, fat, anything. They don’t give a shit about you. You exist to pay taxes to them. You exist to work so they don’t have to.

Remember when the antismokers checked carbon monoxide in breath tests on smokers in the street? On busy streets. They never tested nonsmokers and never tested themselves. If they had, all the results would have been the same because the CO and other stuff from exhaust fumes on a busy street will overwhelm anything a cigarette can do.

And yet, at that time, the buses and cars rolling by were totally harmless compared to half a gram of burning leaf.

When my grandmother was born there were no cars. They are really that recent, starting in the early 1900s as rich men’s toys. You had to have a man with a red flag walking in front to warn people you were coming so they wouldn’t be startled. That might come back with the electric car because those things are almost silent. They’ll need sound generators like model trains have, so they sound like a real one.

The Cult of the Green God is not satisfied because like all the other ‘mememe’ groups out there, they are never satisfied. They want cars banned right now. Except theirs of course. I mean, how do you get to the next conference on stopping oil use if oil products are banned? Walk there, like a common pleb? They are far too important for that.

Seriously, imagine a world where you can’t speed around in a flash Audi or BMW and have to try to pick up girls in a glorified disability cart. See it happening? The car industry can adapt of course, they just make electric cars instead of petrol ones and then charge more than the car’s value for new batteries.

But the oil industry? You really think they are going quietly into oblivion? Oh no, this isn’t going to be like the tobacco wars at all. The antismokers never wanted to ban tobacco. That would put them out of work so they work with the tobacco companies to reach a compromise where they both profit. Can’t happen when you completely delete all use of a product. The oil wars are going to be a lot more vicious.

Really though, it’s about our ability to go places without being controlled. They don’t like that. They didn’t like us having places to gather and talk so they wrecked the pubs and everything like them. There has been a war against personal transport for a long time and it was always going to be banned one day.

Your 2040 electric car will have all the latest gadgetry installed. No need to worry about speeding, it will be incapable of exceeding the limit, even in an emergency. No need to worry about it getting stolen because the authorities always know exactly where it is and have the power to turn it off remotely.

A lot of people are going to think that’s all good.

Until they are driving somewhere the authorities don’t want them to go…

The Mark of the Beast

Revelation 13: 16-17: Also it causes all, both small and great, both rich and poor, both free and slave, to be marked on the right hand or the forehead, so that no one can buy or sell unless he has the mark, that is, the name of the beast or the number of its name.

I’m not religious, still. I’m not convinced of the existence of any God and yet, the Bible was written by some very interesting people. And, as a writer of scary stories, I have had occasion to dip into the Bible (as well as some *cough* ‘rival publications’ for fact-checking and inspiration). The Mark of the Beast is a big story plotline which nobody seriously thought would become reality.

Well, here it is. (hat tip to on Twitter).

And also here (another hat tip, this time to ) The last line of this one contains a typo –

“I want to be part of the future,” she laughs.

Surely she meant ‘furniture’. They hold parties where unchipped workers get to be assimilated for free. It’s not yet compulsory to be chipped to work there but it’s going to be damn inconvenient to be unchipped when the card readers start breaking down. Who wants to pay maintenance costs on obsolete equipment? There’s no need to ‘force’ compliance. Just make non-compliance a hassle.

These are all volunteers. They’ll be delighted with their new Borg implant that lets them open doors and operate vending machines. How long before there are doors that can only be opened by the chip? You don’t have the chip, you can’t go in there. How long before it’s simply too inconvenient to be unchipped? How long before it’s mandatory? How long before you can’t open your door or ride a bus or start your car without one? How long before resistance is genuinely futile?

Oh, the technology has been around for some time. Implanted chips are years old. Implants in pets are actually compulsory in many countries now, and you can already pay for stuff by tapping your credit card on the machine rather than going to all that hassle of slotting it in and pressing four buttons. I’m still a Luddite and use cash most of the time, and absolutely refuse to get involved with contactless when I use the card.

I can keep the cards in a screened wallet so they don’t get scanned by passing crooks, but what if it’s in your hand? Will we have to wear chain mail gloves?

Yes, people welcomed contactless technology and as I suggested at the time, if pressing four buttons is such a hassle, wouldn’t it be so much more convenient if you didn’t have to bother with the card? Why not have that contactless chip embedded in your hand? You can’t forget it or lose it and it’s unlikely to be stolen. You’d certainly notice if it was. I said at the time that it wouldn’t have to be mandatory. People will welcome such convenience.

Remember, a few years back, the calls to have children microchipped like pets so they could be traced if they went missing? Oh that met with absolute outrage! It died out and went quiet. Well it’s back now, except now they will get adults to demand them rather than force them on us all.

They could replace passports. Yes, you can be scanned remotely as you pass without even knowing your credentials are being checked. Isn’t that convenient? Any government authority can know where you are and who you’re with at a moment’s notice. Does that make you feel safe? I bet many people will answer ‘yes’ to that.

The amount of calories in your shopping could soon be displayed on your till receipt and from there it’s just a small step to a siren and red light announcing ‘too many calories!’ at the checkout. Most people will be shamed into buying fewer calories. Personally I’d see it as a challenge to set off that red light every single time.

Buying too much booze? Buying too many chocolate bars? Buying another can of fizz when you bought one only last week? Does it really sound so unlikely when even now, you buy something on Amazon and get related ads popping up on Facebook and other sites. Use your store card and they send you vouchers for money off stuff you buy. Oh yes, it’s all great until you start thinking about how much data is really stored about your life.

Your medical records can be stored on another chip. How would you sell that to people? Well, suppose you were in an accident or passed out on the street. If an ambulance crew could just scan you and get your records, it would save vital minutes and ensure they know what to treat you with right away. Sounds good, doesn’t it?

Link it to your home Wifi and the medics can tell if you’re suddenly taken ill. They can also tell when you’re smoking, drinking, overeating…

All this, and the total removal of even the concept of gender, is already in Panoptica. The story I wonder about finishing – and wonder whether I should have written it at all. It seems to come true as I write it.

Although I didn’t have calorie counts on till receipts. There are no till receipts and your shopping is assembled for you depending on your State-defined dietary needs. That hasn’t happened in real life.

Yet.

 

The ‘Devoid of Choice’ Generation.

It still makes me laugh to see companies with signs saying ‘This company operates a no smoking policy’. No, you don’t. No company operates such a policy because no company has any choice in the matter. Every company, every operator of every workplace and every place open to the public is obliged to prevent smoking on the premises. If they fail to comply they will be fined.

There is no choice. No amount of smug signs saying ‘we are making this rule’ changes that fact. You might as well put up signs saying ‘we obey’ because that is what you are really doing.

Hiding from that fact only emboldens the Health Nazis. They see such compliance as weakness and they know they have not reached any boundary yet. In fact there’s no sign of any such boundary. I suppose, denied the old fashioned persecution of anyone non-white, gay or otherwise different, the bigots out there have to have someone to hate and the Health Nazis have a target for them. Smokers.

They have more targets too. The overweight. Anyone putting salt on their food or swigging a can of chemical fizz. All lined up for when the last smoker has been dealt with.

Still, the war on smokers continues to its final solution

“We want to address this. Our vision is nothing less than to create a smoke-free generation.”

That’s a quote from Steve Brine, whose surname is going to get him into trouble with the Salties in the future. They want a salt-free world, Steve. No more brine.

But look closely at those words –

“…Our vision is nothing less than to create a smoke-free generation.”

Ah, the new Aryan race. Moulded along lines directed by those who consider themselves lords over all. And to think, they object to being called Nazis.

This ‘smoke-free’ generation are not going to be asked if they want to play along and be part of Briny Steve’s ashtray-free Utopia. Oh no. That generation will be created by the Salty Fuhrer and his coven of We Know Best.

You won’t have the choice, kids, and you’ll be so proud that you have no choice that you will crow about your non-smoking even though you will never get to try it. You will not be allowed to try it and you will obey.

Oh I know there are antismokers out there thinking ‘Excellent. No more smokers’. They don’t see it, do they? Once you are obedient there is no end to it. No salt. Obey. No meat. Obey. No milk. Obey. No booze. Obey. No socialising without State supervision. Obey.

Oh I know, you’re thinking ‘Well I don’t smoke but they won’t make me give up meat’. They won’t make me give up smoking either. It’s not for us. It’s for their Aryan generation of your kids and grandkids and then on forever. The obedient drones they want to create. You want that as your family legacy? We’ll all be reviled as the filthy ancestors who ate burgers, swilled beer and drooled over meat pies with salty chips. Our headstones will be smashed to rubble to pave the pure streets of Obedience Utopia.

Sure, we’ll be dead, why should we care? Why should we care that our descendants will be drones for the elite (who, incidentally, won’t be giving up anything)? Why should we care if the Earth turns into a planet of slaves to be worked and culled and occasionally harvested for the entertainment of a few utter arseholes? Why should we care that Mount Olympus will be staffed by human gods in the future? Why should we care that our children’s children will live their lives in terror of saying a word out of place and ending up ‘on the farm’?

As fertiliser, not driving a tractor.

Why should we care that our great-grandchildren will watch each other constantly, hoping for that buzz of reward when they hand in a wrongthink criminal and get a pat on the head for it?

Ah, maybe I’m exaggerating – but look around. How much of it is in place already? We have ‘bacon crime’ as a real imprisonable offence. Really, we don’t have far to go.

Smoker persecution was just the start. It soon moved on to other things. Smoker eradication is, likewise, just the start. This smoke free generation will be an obedient, choice free generation. They will not smoke. Not because they don’t want to, because they have been told not to and they will obey. Just like those businesses who pretend that being smoke free is their choice, that generation will pretend it’s their choice too. It won’t be. They will not smoke, or drink, or ever taste bacon or beef or chicken, because it will not be allowed. They will be conditioned to believe it was their choice. Just like those businesses with their no smoking policies.

It’s better to believe you chose that path than to accept you were forced onto it, for many people. Not for me. I will not accept force but then school wasn’t a conditioning factory when I was there. They taught us how to think, not what to think. We are no use to the Briny Steves of the world, they are waiting for us to die and, in the meantime, silencing us with political correctness and poofterphobia and dynamitewaistcoatophobia and racism and all the other bollocks. None of it is real for pretty much all of us but their upcoming proto-Aryans believe every word. Especially the made up words. Oh and the suckers who currently enjoy ‘protected status’? Oh you are going to have a really shitty time, very soon.

In the future your grandkids will not smoke and they will convince themselves it’s because they don’t want to. I am not promoting smoking here, I am promoting choice. The choice to not smoke is as valid as the choice to smoke. When you don’t have the choice then you are nothing more than an obedient drone.

Is that what you see for your family’s future?

The vapers will soon point out that the UK Health Nazis have now decided to allow vaping to help with cutting down on smokers. Yeah, don’t get too cheery about it guys. You have not had a reprieve, you have had a stay of execution.

When they finish us off, do you really think they’ll leave you alone?

If you do, you’re going to be very, very disappointed.

 

 

Cower, children, and let the Authorities protect you

In Cologne, police rounded up pretty much anyone who looked like they might be from North Africa and questioned them. It’s not surprising after last year’s debacle – 600 sexual assaults and 400 robberies (numbers might not be accurate, I don’t have access to official figures here) in one night of New Year celebrations.

It was much calmer this year because the police were everywhere. If they had been out in force last year, there might not have been such a festival of crime but then there would have been no headlines for either year.

So last year was the fault of mass uncontrolled immigration and… so was this year. Huge authority supervision of the New Year party. It’s what the people wanted.

There was a vicious attack on unarmed civilians in Istanbul, Turkey. Santa with a Kalashnikov killed and injured a lot of unarmed civilians, because that’s how Islam operates. Kill those who have no involvement in any kind of anti-Islam activity because they are the ones who are not expecting it. No point going after the politicians who give the orders. They have security and they are watching out for trouble. No, far easier to kill the innocent. Our side would never do that…

…apart from the attack on an Istanbul mosque hours later. Same principle really, the harm was less deadly but severe nonetheless, and only unarmed civilians were attacked.

We are to believe all Muslims are the enemy though, so the retaliation attack is treated as if it’s just to be expected. Even though attacking civilians really makes our side the same as theirs.

Meanwhile we are now to cower in terror in case Islam unleashes mustard gas on us. Really, a first world war weapon anyone can make in their kitchen although unless you know how to contain it, that’s a really bad idea.

And yet… and yet… is there absolute proof ISIS are doing this? The retaliatory attack on a mosque was very fast. Like they were all ready to respond. Just an observation.

The nightclub gunman’s shouts of ‘Allahu Akbar’ only appeared in the third or fourth report. The rape fest in Cologne last year might or might not have been Muslim perpetrated, the implication is that it was.

And now we have to watch all local Muslims carefully in case they start wearing first world war German helmets with spikes on top and digging trench systems in their back gardens.

Neighbour is to watch and report on neighbour. Trust nobody. Anyone around you could be a thought criminal. All the multiculturalism is approaching the end point of its real intention now. All those who supported it, and who still support it, as a good thing, are the useful idiots of our time. Their usefulness will soon expire and to be honest, I’m happy to let them find out for themselves what that really means.

No need to worry. Authority will protect you. Wear your onesie baby romper suit, sip from your child safety cup, drink water from your nipple-equipped ‘sport’ baby bottle, watch meaningless sanitised childish crap on your TV and stay in the confines of your play pen. You’ll be fine. Nanny will make the bogeyman go away.

No she won’t. The bogeyman is what keeps you in line. Tales of the bogeyman are going to keep on coming. Nothing will change until you finally realise one thing.

The bogeyman is Nanny’s invention. Oh it’s real, but only because Nanny made it real.

Even the bogeymen don’t realise that Nanny controls them too. They can only hurt the ones Nanny lets them hurt.

Don’t be disobedient, children. Nanny will tell the bogeymen where you live…

 

Breaking the family

Many have been vociferous about the Communist ideal of destroying the family unit. Stewart in particular has often pointed this out as an openly stated aim of that group.

We have had children as thought police for some years now, reporting on their parents to their teachers. Little squealers telling teacher that their parents smoke, drink, argue sometimes, feed them on Pop Tarts and fizzy drinks, let them stay up late playing games they are too young to play…

At the same time, parents are encouraged to give in to the child’s every whim, not realising they are being set up to take the blame for doing what they were told to do. Disciplining children is seen as evil now. The result is a large number of feral, greasy little urchins destined to a life of belligerence, unpleasantness and adult acne.

Not all kids are like that. Some are still growing up into decent human beings but the proportion of spoiled and uncontrolled brats is still increasing.

In the old days, parents were the ones you looked up to and respected. Well, you were cautious of all adults because any one of them could give you a telling off if you were a brat. Parents though, were sacrosanct. The idea of squealing to teacher because Dad smoked while watching TV and drinking a beer… no, we didn’t even think twice about those things. As for Dad’s political views, nobody ever asked and we didn’t care.

But then we weren’t indoctrinated with antismoking, antidrinking and antiresting propaganda. We didn’t have Green nonsense pushed at us, we had gym class but we were not expected to follow a rigorous exercise regime, and what we ate was between us and our parents. That’s all changed now.

When I was small, any adult would come to a child’s aid if they fell or hurt themselves. Now? Adults are wary, especially men. So much as smile at a child and the parent is thinking ‘Paedo!’ Fortunately I am not the type to smile at children. Never have been. Growl, maybe, but never smile. Nasty, unhygienic messy little noise makers. You don’t have to worry about me molesting your child, but you might find it duct taped to a wall.

Back to the point. If I fell over when I was maybe three or four, an adult I didn’t know would pick me up, dust me off and send me on my way. If a child that age falls now, most adults walk by. It’s not just the parent/child link that is being broken. It’s the entire adult/child relationship. Children are being isolated from the adult world and taught, in that isolation, what their world will be. It’s for the children, you see?

All this in the name of a ‘collective’ society. Children are not the property of the parents, they are the property of everyone. That’s the public image of communism. The real intent is that children – and ultimately, in a generation or two, everyone – is the property of the State. Slavery is freedom. Orwell knew what he was talking about. He was deep into this stuff.

It hasn’t taken long. Now we have most students insisting the UK cannot survive outside the EU and going all out to make sure we stay in. They believe their future depends on it. They live on a little island that once controlled half the globe and they believe we can’t manage on our own? Oh I know we’re supposed to be ashamed of our past empire but that’s just silly. A tiny island that ran most of the planet with just a few administrators? A people so feared, so self-confident, that an old admin officer with a cane could chase away armed bandits? We should be ashamed of that? Really?

I’m not saying we should take over the world again. I doubt we could anyway. The rebel colonists in America still celebrate their independence from us (yeah, just rub it in, why don’t you?) and the criminals in Australia seem intent on turning their country back into the joyless prison it was when their ancestors first arrived. We don’t want that back, thanks.

Anyway, the children of today have been taught that taking over the world is something to be ashamed of. They will welcome the New World Order which will put an end to anyone taking over the world by… taking over the world. Don’t bother trying to explain this to them, they are doublethink experts.

How far has the family-breaking ideal progressed? It’s made a lot of progress even in the last ten or twenty years. Parents don’t trust any other adults and children are being taught to fear them. Adults are afraid to go anywhere near a child they don’t know because that will label them ‘paedo’.

Children are abducted, seemingly at random, in the name of ‘child protection’. Genuinely abused children are often left with their abusers while others are taken into care for being a bit on the fat side. Could be a bit of eugenics involved, a bit of ‘no, we don’t want that one’, but that’s pure speculation on my part.

A couple of generations and you’ll see children separated from their parents at birth and brought up in places where they are routinely abused and their spirits broken to the point where they will accept the State as their God. Humiliation at that level leaves a person open to any kind of comfort, no matter how pitiful. The State will save them, take them under its wing, enslave them and they will be grateful.

And they will gladly give their children to the State that looks after them so well.

 

Another attack of the Vapers

I was going to write some starting rules on the story collection idea tonight but Dick Puddlecote seems to have started a minor flame war. Just a little one. I’ll set up some loose and flexible story rules later. It’s not going to be suitable for children, because I’ll have a story in it.

In my self appointed role as internet Liverpudlian (calm down, calm down, dey do dough don’t dey dough) I thought I’d sidle up to the little fire and see if I can turn it into a conflagration.

antisocial

It all started when DP posted a rant by Clive Bates demanding that vapers be left alone now they’ve given up the real thing and taken up some synthetic steam based nicotine gadgetry instead.

Simon Clark took considerable exception to the post, and Grandad wasn’t happy either. Frank Davis took a rather less excitable view, as a good smoker should.

Like Frank, I own several Electrofags and even tried the cigar version (didn’t like that one, it was so big it gave the impression of sucking a dildo and I am not risking photos of that!). I never intended stopping smoking and still don’t, but the range of flavours available means I keep them and still get them out once in a while. I like the idea of ‘smoking’ absinthe or brandy or apple pie. I heard about one new Electrofag that holds three different flavours of ejuice at once and you can switch between them. Link is coming as soon as I get it.

I don’t think it’s possible to get tobacco flavour right. There are so many different tobaccos and blends. A smoker who prefers Marlboro will notice that Embassy don’t taste the same. It’s simply not possible to produce a generic ‘tobacco flavour’ that will make all smokers instantly think ‘Oh brilliant, my dreams are answered’. Can’t be done.

And then there’s the whole lighter thing and the real smoke and well, all of it. I like smoking and I am never going to be ashamed or embarrassed to admit it.

It does amuse me when one of the girls at work comes outside with us smokers then pulls out an Electrofag and tells us how much better it is. Uh… you’re out here in the cold and the drizzle too, or hadn’t you noticed? Out here in the delivery bay next to a main road watching the trucks drive in and out, shivering and getting damp and breathing traffic fumes. Really, the difference between my baccy smoke and your steam is insignificant in this situation.

Okay, it’s a food shop. I don’t recall ever seeing anyone smoking in a food shop in the last 56 years (to the day ;)). So I would not ever expect to be allowed to smoke in a food shop and would probably be mildly shocked if someone did puff smoke at the Parma ham. Yet vaping is not smoking so the vaper girl, as far as I can see, causes no issues if she vapes inside. Okay, maybe not in the shop, but in the staffroom I see no problem.

The Dreadful Arnott and the rest of the vehement anti-people brigade see a problem. It looks like smoking! Horror! If they saw that electronic cigar they’d faint. It looks like smoking and like low grade kinky porn at the same time. All I’d have to do would be to fill it with brandy and dip it in salt and the Righteous would spontaneously combust.

I know A Certain Someone is going to suggest filling it with cream. No. Just… no, okay?

It’s still NO.

I don’t call Clive Bates a Righteous. Why not? Because he stopped, and the Righteous never stop. He drew a line in the sand and said ‘No more’. Okay, it rings hollow as Simon Clark says because of the past but as Doolittle said to Bomb 20, the concept is valid no matter where it originates.

 

 

Clive drew his line in the wrong place and much too far along the beach, as Grandad said, but he did draw that line. For the true Righteous, like the Dreadful Arnott, there is no line. Ever. It never stops for them. One day they will arrest children for chewing on a pencil because it looks like smoking and they will still not be satisfied.

Clive Bates would be happy to stop with smokers becoming vapers. In my case at least he can take that idea, write it down, roll it up tight in glasspaper, tie it with barbed wire and ram it up his arse but even so, he does have a place where he would be happy to stop. That’s enough to rescind his Righteous badge.

I know Clive was once head of ASH. I know he was in there with the daft ‘passive smoking’ nonsense. He resigned because the madness crossed his line in the sand. He had a place he wanted to get to and then stop and it became clear ASH wasn’t ever going to stop. I think he actually resigned before the invention of Electrofag.

I really think Clive Bates does believe it is about health. It isn’t, it never was, but I think he believed it. Maybe now he’s starting to see the light.

Maybe he can now see the monster he helped create.